Category: Uncategorized (Page 67 of 81)

The Question that Fear Asks

September 19, 2012 /

Monday I wrote about fear (and btw have you seen those scary Orkin commercials about bed bugs??!!) and (more seriously) following a God who doesn’t fit our formulas.

As I’ve been facing my own fear at following Jesus I keep thinking about this story I heard a million years ago about a little boy trapped in the bedroom of his home which was on fire.

He was at the window, the home swallowed up in flames, no way out.  Smoke everywhere.

Below, a fireman called up to him, “Jump son!  I’ll catch you!  I’m here!”

The little boy screamed “No!  I can’t SEE you!!!”

“I know,” yelled the fireman, “but I can see YOU!  Jump!”

Cheesy story?  Maybe.  But it makes me think about the question fear asks of God.

The underlying question in the little boy’s heart was the question that fear asks:

What if…?

What if you don’t see me?

What if you miss?

What if you’re not strong enough?

What if I get hurt?

What if I look silly?

What if You catch me but it’s not a soft fall, or it isn’t the exact scenario I would like?

Sometimes I can’t see God.  And I’m afraid to jump.

Lord are You there?  Do You see me?  Are you big enough, strong enough…and do You love me enough to catch me?

(again, John, not me, bungee jumping at Victoria Falls, Zambia)

What does Love ask of you today that’s scary?

To go someplace uncomfortable?  Talk to someone uncomfortable?  Serve in way that’s uncomfortable?

Quit a job, or stay in a job that’s hard?  Give something away?  Build a bridge, or shake the dust off your feet?

Are you afraid to jump?  I am.  And I’m thinking about the lyrics from this Nicole Nordeman song:

But what if you’re wrong?
What if there’s more?
What if there’s hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He’s more than enough?
What if it’s love?

What are you afraid of?

The Other “F Word”, Part 2

September 17, 2012 /

Friday I posted about the other “F word” in our family.

On reflection I think there’s more than one “other”.  There may be a whole slew of other “f words” that lurk around like stealth ninjas ready to take us down.

So here’s number 2.  Fear.

I don’t think I’m a particularly fearful person.  But I might have slept in the car instead of with the bats in a mountain cabin once upon a time.  And Maggie and I might have told the producers of the Amazing Race that snakes were a no-go for us when we were auditioning.

I’ll admit I AM afraid of heights, failure, suffering, looking foolish in public, and dying in an airplane crash to name a few.  But so is everyone, right?

(John, not me, bungee jumping at Victoria Falls, Zambia)

If I’m honest, what I’m really afraid of is losing control.  At least the illusion of control.

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The Other “F Word”

September 14, 2012 /

One afternoon when Katy was in kindergarten she got off the bus and informed me that she had learned “the f-word.”

“Fart.”

She later told us she had also learned the “sh-word”

“Shut up.”

Honestly, in our family the real “f-word” isn’t fart.  And it isn’t another word that might come to mind.

It’s “fine”.

To my mind, “fine” may be the most terrible word in the english language.  And words matter as my friend Sharon always reminds me.

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You’re (NOT) Invited!

September 12, 2012 /

Which of these do you like better?

“You’re invited!” or “Everyone’s welcome!”

Holy buckets!  There’s a big difference in my mind between those two phrases.

One is personal.  The other is just permissive.

There’s going to be a Girls’ Night out.  Or a BBQ.  Some folks doing Kareoke.  A church event.  Lots of people are going.  You know that because you’ve seen it on Facebook or read Tweets about it.

But you’re not invited.

If you asked, they’d probably say, “Sure, come!  Everyone is welcome!”  But that’s different from being personally invited.

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“You’re Invited!”

September 10, 2012 /

Aren’t those words magical?!  You feel special.  Included.  Valued.  There’s a sense of anticipation.

One of the things I love most about God’s character is that He is an inviter.  A “welcome to the party” God…  An “I’ve been waiting for you to arrive!” God… A “Come as you are” God…

He’s the Host at the Banquet, the Greeter at the door, the Provider of refreshment for those who are hungry and thirsty.

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Word Fatigue

September 7, 2012 /

The other day in our small group, one of the women was describing the feeling of heaviness, helplessness, and lethargy she felt upon return from a year in Africa.  I said it sounded like she had experienced “compassion fatigue” – the sense of overload you have when you’ve seen too much suffering, heard too many stories of loss and spent time with people in despair, too many requests for more money.

Visiting a church recently, I felt like I experienced a similar phenomena.  “Word fatigue”.

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My Most Important Question

September 5, 2012 /

I’ve never been comfortable with questions, and gray, and lack of resolution.

Questions scared me.  Because, well…what if God, you know…wasn’t big enough?

I’m not by nature a doubter, but life has led me through gray, led me through “no answers”, through pound-on-the-floor dark frustration, and although I may have faltered, God hasn’t.

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Endings and Beginnings

September 3, 2012 /

Today is Labor Day.  The unofficial end to summer.  For me it’s been my favorite summer ever.

But it was August 16th when this is what I found.

The very first glimmer of Fall.  An ending and a beginning.

I texted this picture to John, Katy, and Maggie and got two different responses:

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Who’s Dancing With You?

August 27, 2012 /

Taking a little August Sabbatical so I thought I’d repost one of the most popular entries from this past year.  I’m glad you liked it!

I really admire my husband.

He’s brilliant and wise and athletic and better than me at everything.

Except maybe one thing.

When we were dating, we never danced.

And when we got married we didn’t have dancing at our reception.

And when we went to our first wedding reception as a married couple he didn’t ask me to dance and I cried and was sure he didn’t really love me.

I wrote recently that some friends and I have wrangled our husbands into taking dance lessons, and I’ve finally discovered why this has not been part of our life together up til now.  I’m not gonna sugar coat it.  I’m no Ginger Rogers, but John is truly bad.   I don’t understand it.  How can someone who’s so coordinated in so many other areas be so…not…in this area?  Sometimes we just have to stop trying because we’re laughing so hard.

It’s one thing to have a humility thrust upon you.  You make a mistake and have to apologize.  Like BP.  Or the captain of the cruise ship in Italy.  Or Lindsay Lohan.  You’re given a job to do and things don’t go well.  You’re humbled.

But to choose to step into a situation where you know you’re weak, vulnerable, open to ridicule?  That takes love.

Doing this together with some of our closest friends has led me to another conclusion.

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Looking for Life and Death and Maybe Jesus

August 24, 2012 /

I’m taking a little August sabbatical.  I pray you’ll be blessed by a repost from last year on a Spirit Stretch Friday…

A few weeks ago I wrote about the Communion Debacle our daughters experienced at church.  It made me think about how hard it can be to truly enter into this sacrament and be present to God in the moment…reflecting on His grace and our sin.

Frankly, it’s darn easy to be present to…me.  My comfort, my will, my convenience, my agenda…But Jesus?  Not so much.  Are you with me?

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