Category: Uncategorized (Page 16 of 81)

When You Open Your Bible

May 24, 2016 / Laura Crosby

There are many mornings when I don’t feel like reading Scripture. But almost inevitably, when I do, God smacks me upside the head with something

a. relevant

b. encouraging

c. convicting

d. all of the above

I love our friend Mark Batterson’s line: “When you open your Bible God opens His mouth.”

Today it is one line from 1 Samuel 14:36 that God speaks to me.

Saul is passionate! Charging ahead! Wanting to knock off the Philistines (for God of course). And then this…

But the priest slowed them down. “Let’s find out what God thinks about this.”

I don’t like Saul, but I am so like Saul – Fire, ready, aim!

I needed this reminder today! I think of my “to do” list – so many plans, ideas… I stop when I read this verse and think also of Nehemiah who had the wise rhythm of prayer/action/prayer/action.

I take out my journal and pray through my plans,

God, what do YOU have to say about this…?

What are my motives in this thing…really? Will this honor You?

It’s one thing to ask, but shoot…then I have to pay attention, like for more than a minute. And I’m a little spiritually ADD.

Speak, Lord, for your servant is ~~listening.~~ trying to listen.

What to do When Your Marriage Is Less Than Perfect

May 22, 2016 / Laura Crosby

Our marriage is far from perfect, and always will be because, well, we’re us. Broken. Selfish.

Still, I am so over the moon thankful for my amazing husband. He is patient when I am so…not. He is cool and steady when I am a hot mess. He is grace personified, spoiling me, serving me…and he’s the most fun adventure companion.

But, we’ve been married almost 33 years, so there have been one or two seasons when we weren’t as crazy about each other.

The season when kids are tiny can be particularly stressful on marriages because you both are stretched thin like wet spaghetti ready to break. And you both desperately want to be selfish because YOU’ve changed 7,624 dirty diapers and got up with the crying baby LAST time, and cleaned up the crayon masterpiece on the couch, and YOU.ARE.SO.TIRED.

There was another season, though, about 8 years into our marriage, when the kids were out of diapers and I went through a time of having an incredibly critical spirit towards John.

You said WHAT? You didn’t do WHAT? You want to wear WHAT?

It seemed like everything made me cringe and I couldn’t figure out why. John and I were still the same broken and beautiful people who married each other, but I was wearing a different set of glasses.

There are times when absolutely, counseling is the best choice you can make. But there are other times when just a little tweaking is required to get back to a healthy spouse-loving place, and if I was talking to my 32-year-old self, here are some of the things I might say.

First of all, you see what you’re looking for.

Scientists call this “confirmation bias”.

Confirmation bias – refers to a type of selective thinking whereby one tends to notice and to look for what confirms one’s beliefs, and to ignore, not look for, or undervalue the relevance of what contradicts one’s beliefs.

Have you ever noticed how once you decide you don’t like someone, you see more and more evidence that your judgment is correct?

I’m still not exactly sure why that was a bad season for us, but I do know marriage is like a flywheel – it takes some hard work to get it spinning one direction, but when it does, it seems to keep going.

When the flywheel is flying negative it takes some time and energy to change direction.

If I was talking to my younger self, I’d say, look for anything and everything authentic to affirm in your husband. And then SAY IT. Tell him how much you appreciate it when he’s home on time for dinner, or takes a turn reading Good Night Moon, or changes a diaper.

More than that, the next time you’re out in public, find a way to honestly brag about your spouse to someone else. If the conversation is about a politician making rash, irresponsible statements I could say “That’s one thing I really appreciate about John – he’s wise and patient. He thinks before he speaks.”

If I was talking to my younger, critical self, I’d also say, pray. And not a rant of “Lord can You even beLIEVE what this husband of mine just did?! For the love of all that’s holy, would You just CHANGE him already?” No, I’d say pray for grace, strength, wisdom, and patience for both you and your spouse. Pray that God would equip him for every good work as he goes through his day and then watch for God to show up.

Again, you see what you look for.

What about you? Those of you who have been married a long time, what might you add?

When the Church Leaves the Building

May 18, 2016 / Laura Crosby

Yesterday I had the chance to climb to the top of this dome for the third time in my life.

St. Paul’s Cahedral has been standing in one form or another on this spot since 604. It was rebuilt after the great London fire in 1666. It was repaired after being bombed in WW2. It is magnificent.

I love seeing many churches in the U.K. that have remained empty for years, now being refurbished and reclaimed, slowly filling with people – like the plants of Holy Trinity Brompton, where Alpha was started.

We entered into vibrant worship Sunday at St. Luke’s Kentish town – one of these church plants in a reclaimed building.

Nikki Gumbel (pastor at HTB) compares church revitalization to the story of Lazarus being brought back to life:

This passage indirectly provides a picture of hope for the church. There is a sickness in parts of the church and many are declaring its death. Some parts of the church seem to have ‘fallen asleep’ (John 11:11). And in some cases there seems to be a ‘bad odour’ (v.39).

This passage reminds us of Jesus’ power to bring even the dead to life. This resurrection power is still at work in the church today.

The church is not dependent on the building of St. Paul’s, or St. Luke’s or wherever.

Jesus said, “I will build this church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it.” Mt. 16:18

The bottom line is that we are the church.

And something powerful happens when the church leaves the building.

For a season, some mentors of ours, Gordon and Gail MacDonald, were pastoring in New York City. They befriended some city bus drivers who were Christ-followers. The bus drivers were discouraged because they felt they didn’t have an environment for ministry. Gordon pushed back and suggested:

“Why don’t you start up your buses each morning and, while the engine is warming (while still empty), walk down the aisle of the bus and shout, ‘In the name of Jesus of Nazareth, I declare this bus to be a sanctuary where passengers will experience something of the love of Christ through me.’ You can be a pastor in your own sanctuary.”

The bus drivers took his suggestion and experienced a transformation of perspective on their everyday life. Suddenly their buses were a safe place where they were aware God was present and welcoming.

For my friend Anne a 747 is her sanctuary. I can’t imagine anyone more full of the love of Jesus caring for weary travelers with joy and patience on the long flight from Minneapolis to Amsterdam. Her flights are places where God is present and welcoming. Recently Anne switched her schedule to work this flight when I and my colleague were on our way home. She treated us like royalty, but she does that with everyone she meets!

Another friend moved to a new home a couple years ago and before painting over the walls of her living room, this is what she wrote:

She and her husband are declaring their home to be a sanctuary where the Lord lives.

The church leaves the building anytime you create a sanctuary in your neighborhood, or office, or on your team, or in your home.

Is there an everyday space that you might pray over and be intentional about making it a sanctuary?

One Secret For Everyday Battles

May 16, 2016 / Laura Crosby

John has a yearly board meeting in the U.K., so we tend to take a couple of extra days when we can, to see something new. This year we packed a lot into two days.

My husband is much more into history than I am, so when he got excited that we were going to be near a battlefield outside Hastings I said “Woohoo!” without much true enthusiasm.

Turns out the Battle of Hastings in 1066 is a pretty big deal and was a fascinating visit with an audio guide that revealed several leadership, marriage, and faith lessons I’ve been thinking about ever since we left.

The bottom line in this battle is that Harold, new king of England (by questionable means), was defending Great Britain against William the Conqueror from Normandy (his name kind of gives away the story), who wanted to be boss of the island too.

At one point in the battle, William’s French soldiers mistakenly got word that he had been killed. They lost heart and started to retreat with the British soldiers hot on their heals.

William got wind of this and galloped his horse over to that part of the battle. He lifted his helmet/mask thingy, revealing his face and yelled something like, “I’m alive! Don’t lose heart! Victory is in front of you, only death behind!”

The men, energized, inspired, and encouraged, turned around and eventually they won the battle.

I just keep picturing this leader, lifting his mask so his troops can look him in the eye and know that all is not lost.

I think of God, lifting His mask and showing us His face in Jesus.

I think of all the times that the battle seems too much…

We’re discouraged, tired, overwhelmed, lonely. We feel beaten up.

We forget who we are and whose we are.

But every time we open the Bible, God lifts His mask again. This is the secret to winning our daily skirmishes. We see Jesus and we receive encouragement, inspiration and the assurance that He has the battle in hand.

Soul Food Friday

May 12, 2016 / Laura Crosby

Sharing some “soul food” that brought me joy this week…

First, a little Instagram delight for all you mamas limping to the finish line of the school year.

Oh my gosh, we all need some good news and uplifting stories these days, right? This first video was sent to me by daughter Maggie and brought tears to my eyes. Such a beautiful picture of community and caring.

And this one…Wow, what a Jesus-like picture.

I read Secrets of a Charmed Life this week and loved it! It takes place during World War 2 in London and is totally engrossing. I couldn’t put it down as the author weaves the stories of two half sisters and their unmarried mother through the Blitz and beyond. Such a great story that keeps you guessing to the end.

I took dinner to a new mama this week and had small group dinner too, so it was a great excuse to try out this new recipe. Holy buckets! Definitely a winner! (I’m not very good at cutting or food styling, but trust me…yum!)

SNICKERDOODLE CHEESECAKE BARS (original recipe here I always change them)

Ingredients:

FOR THE CRUST:

1 1/2 cup graham cracker crumbs (about 12 full size grahams)
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted

FOR THE CHEESECAKE FILLING:

2 packages (8oz each) cream cheese, softened
3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp cinnamon

FOR THE SNICKERDOODLE LAYER:

3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
3/4 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp kosher salt
2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp cinnamon

FOR THE TOPPING:

1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 tsp cinnamon

DIRECTIONS:

Spray Pam on a 13×9 baking dishPreheat oven for 350 degrees.
In a food processor, pulse graham crackers with sugar until fine crumbs. Add in melted butter and pulse until combined.
Press crumbs into bottom of prepared baking dish. Using palm of your hand (or bottom of a cup) press crumbs firmly until they are pressed into the bottom of the pan.
For the cheesecake filling, beat cream cheese with sugar, eggs, vanilla and cinnamon using the whisk attachment of an electric mixer. Beat until fluffy and smooth (about 3-4 minutes). Pour over graham crust.
For the cookie dough, beat butter with sugar for 2 minutes. Add egg and vanilla and beat thoroughly. Add in baking powder, salt, flour and cinnamon and beat until fully combined. Scoop dough by large spoonfuls onto the top of the cheesecake layer. Try to use your fingertips to spread gently until cheesecake layer is fully covered.
In a small bowl, combine sugar and cinnamon topping. Sprinkle generously over the cookie dough layer.
Bake for 30-35 minutes, middle may still “jiggle.” That’s okay. You want the cookie layer to be completely cooked and browned. Remove from oven and cool completely. Once cooled, cover with foil and refrigerate for 4 hours, or overnight. Cut into squares and enjoy. Keep leftover bars in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 5 days.
yield: 24 LARGE BARS

Happy, happy weekend friends!

One Prompt and Three Ways to Become More Like Jesus

May 10, 2016 / Laura Crosby

I really hate the term “spiritual discipline”.

To me it sounds legalistic and rigid and joy-less and not very Jesus-y. Which is ironic, because “spiritual discipline” is about becoming more like Jesus.

Though I don’t like the term, I love the reality that there are little experiments and experiences, prayers and practices and prompts that we can use to help us become more loving. I’m grateful that God is at work transforming us in our everydayness when we pay attention.

Since 9/11 this is a common sign to see around airports or subways.

I’ve been thinking…What if we use this as a prompt to help us become more like Jesus?

Jesus was a noticer. He looked people in the eye. He saw, He affirmed, He named what was wrong, He questioned.

So how about…

If you see something positive, you say something positive When you observe someone (yes even a stranger) doing ANYTHING you admire, if you hear them affirmed in a conversation when they’re not around, use that as a prompt to say something or write a note telling them specifically what is awesome about them. Don’t let affirmation go unsaid.

2. If you see someone overlooked, say something. A friend was sharing the other day, how she is trying to “see” the unseen – the grubby guy at the car wash, the old lady with a walker – and say something. Engage them in conversation. She sat down on a bench with an old scruffy guy and just asked him a question, so he felt seen and valued.

3. If you see something wrong, say something is wrong. I was walking with a young woman recently who shared the pain of being shamed loudly in front friends and no one named it. No one checked in to say, “You know that thing that so-and-so said? How are you feeling?” If you see injustice or unkindness, say something. Don’t let the elephant in the room hang around.

If you see something, say something. Write a note, ask a question, say “Way to go!” or “That was wrong.”

Soul Food to Celebrate Life

May 6, 2016 / Laura Crosby

If you’re a mama or if you’re not, this is a great weekend to celebrate Life in every expression! Here are a few things that were life-giving to me this week.

Our daughter Katy works as liaison between USAID (humanitarian aid) and Capitol Hill. She sent us this video that made us all cry. Powerful stuff!

If that one made you cry, this video will bring a smile. During a season when there’s so much focus on what divides us, this is a reminder of the things that we can celebrate together.

Favorite Instagram. Nuf said.

A beautifully written book I read this week was Purple Hibiscus. This amazing book is written in the voice of a 15-year-old girl living a life of privilege and abuse in Nigeria. It brings to life all the sights and smells of the culture and all the intricacies of family dynamics.

This Sunday is Mother’s Day, but it would also have been my brother David’s birthday.

He had the gift of hospitality, always drawing people together and welcoming them in. He was also the Grillmaster. So in honor of David I’m sharing our favorite turkey rub recipe from one of our friends. We call it Turkey ala Bob. It’s awesome!

1 clove minced garlic ++

1/4 cup brown sugar

1/4 cup coarse sea salt

2 TB minced onion (I use the dried kind)

2 ts. crushed red pepper flakes (I cut this way back cuz we don’t like spicy hot)

2 ts. coarse ground black pepper

1/2 ts. EACH cloves and allspice

Pat turkey with oil. Rub in marinade. Double bag for 2 days.

To grill use a aluminum drip pan and grill for 11-13 minutes a pound. Let it stand for 15 minutes. Read more here.

And lastly…

Happy happy weekend!

What is it that you do, dear?

May 3, 2016 / Laura Crosby

I was putting together a little care package of cookies and flowers for a friend who’s pregnant and on bed rest.

For months.

With two other toddlers. Active toddlers.

Yeah. Wow.

As I pray for her and write a note, this is the verse that comes to mind:

“I am doing a great work and I cannot come down.” Nehemiah 6:3

God gives Nehemiah the important job of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem, but there are many who would like to distract or deter him from his work – get him to come down off the wall.

My friend has the great work of resting so that God can safely nurture and grow the life in her womb.

Another friend has the great work of finishing her Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy.

Another has the great work of gently confronting a friend with a drinking problem.

My 88-year-old aunt who has the great work of praying for the world.

Our “great work” can take so many different forms. But often the refrain that plays in our head is:

“I’m not doing anything important. I’m only a _________________”

Whatever we’re doing is a “great work” when given by God and done for Him.

What great work has God given you to do that you need to resist distractions from?

If you’re a mom at home with kids this Mother’s Day, remember what Peggy Campolo would answer when someone asked, “And what is it that you do, dear?”

Peggy would reply, “I am socializing two homo sapiens into the dominant values of the Judeo-Christian tradition in order that they might be instruments for the transformation of the social order into the kind of eschatological utopia that God willed from the beginning of creation.”

Then Peggy would ask the other person, “And what do you do?”

Single or married, mother or auntie, volunteer or paid, we all have a great work – significant work from God.

You are doing a great work. Don’t come down.

How You Can Bring World Peace with Three Words

May 1, 2016 / Laura Crosby

I’m driving to lunch, and talking to Mom on my cell phone. “I’m going to meet an Imam!” (I say excitedly)

Mom: You’re going to meet a New Mom??! (she says just as excitedly)

Me: No, but that’s ok, I had to Google the difference between an “Imam” and a “Sheik” this morning. I’m a newbie.

All I know is we’re not meeting at “Porkbellys” as Mom calls it.

I’ve always been globally aware, but I blame my friends Lynne and Todd for encouraging this newer socially awkward 5-year-old me who anxiously says, “Will you be my friend?” to people of different colors, faiths, political orientations…Even Vegans, for Pete’s sake.

I’m convinced that World Peace may start with the three words, “Let’s Do Lunch”.

We need to get up close and personal with those different from us, but it takes some effort when Jews are the most different-from-me folks in my neighborhood.

We need to be “neighboring” rather than “othering”, and for someone to become a “neighbor” rather than an “other” requires a conversation…the beginning of a relationship.

Anyway, John is meeting with this Imam and I feel like a toddler begging, “Let me come too! I wanna be friends too!”

I have QUESTIONS! I really want to understand those who are different from me – especially Muslims who have been so “otherized” by the media.

As I walk into Ciao Bella I wonder if our Imam will look askance at me wearing jeans and Converse sneakers.

We sit down together and fortunately, Asad is extremely gracious and patient as I pepper him with stuff like, “Will it offend you if I have bacon in my salad?” (No, those are my dietary laws, not yours.” Smile.)

Asad orders fish for lunch, has a wife but no kids, and lives in the suburbs.

He says information and statistics aren’t as important as plain old proximity. He says if you have a pediatrician or a car mechanic who is a Muslim, it goes a long way to put a check in your spirit when the media paints them all as terrorists.

Still, Asad does give us some facts:

Part of being a Muslim means loving and following Jesus.
Mary, the mother of Jesus is mentioned more times in the Koran than in the Bible.
Only 20% of Muslims are Arabs, but our stereotypes of Islam come exclusively from the Arab world.
Muslims and Christians together make up 50% of the world. By 2040 they will make up 2/3 of the world population. If Muslims and Christians can’t get along then World Peace doesn’t stand a chance.

Why am I being painfully vulnerable, sharing my faltering attempts to make new friends?

I believe World Peace can start with a step as small as lunch. We can do this! (We could start a new peace-making service called “It’s Just Lunch” if it wasn’t already taken!) We can de-Trumpize rhetoric, but it needs to begin with us.

“We all have some responsibility to do one activity that leaps across the chasms of segmentation that afflict this country.” David Brooks

John, Asad, and I leave lunch with a plan to gather 75 people from our church to attend a dinner at Asad’s mosque during Ramadan. We’ll go, we’ll listen, we’ll make friends.

The start of world peace.

Who can you invite to lunch this week?

Soul Food Funny, Yummy, and Engaging

April 28, 2016 / Laura Crosby

It’s Soul Food Friday! Congratulations! You’re dancing across the finish line into the weekend! Here are a few of the things from my week that I think you might like…

Daughter Katy shared this Buzzfeed article with us it and it has brought so much joy into my Twitter feed! Check out some of the posts from Exploding Unicorn.

And my new happy Instagram feed – Scary Mommy

And…Who doesn’t love Fixer Upper and want to be best friends with Chip and Joanna?? This week Joanna posted a recipe for a lemon pie and I just happened to have (most of) the ingredients so I made it for my small group dinner.

Yum! It was definitely a keeper, and since I only had one can of sweetened condensed milk instead of the THREE in the recipe, I could call it a Lo Cal version. So Score! It just made a thinner layer of filling.

Lastly, I’ve read two fascinating books this week.

I got the precious gift of having lunch with my friend Sharol while we were in D.C. She lost her husband to cancer just 4 months before we lost my brother David and is such a wise and godly friend. She also is doing her D.Min focused on how the church can help people die better. She suggested the book When Breath Becomes Air which John and I immediately got on our Kindle.

It’s a memoir written by a neurosurgeon who chronicles his journey with cancer, mortality, and quality of life. It may not be for everyone, but I found it engrossing, perhaps because it paralleled much of our experience with my brother David.

The other book is also a memoir by a woman who has struggle with deep depression – Still Life.

About now you may be thinking, “Boy Debbie Downer, do YOU know how to choose books!” But, I found this book also super engaging and helpful to me as someone trying to understand what others may be going through. I definitely recommend it.