Category: Soul Care (Page 6 of 10)

As Soon as You Began to Pray…

October 29, 2019 /

The sky is striped pink and peach, reflecting in the perfectly still lake as I write this. It’s early morning and quiet.

The peaceful landscape before me is at odds with how the past few months have felt as we transition from one season to another – both literally and metaphorically.

Instead of stillness, settled and calm, our life has felt like an autumn wind-storm that blows colored leaves off the trees and continues to swirl them around like question marks and possibilities that won’t land.

I want them to settle so I can rake them into neat manageable piles, but God has other plans.

In this season, I notice two of the spiritual disciplines that are most difficult for me – waiting, and trusting that God is at work for His glory and my good even when I can’t see it. Can anyone else relate?

There are no neat and tidy piles that I can control. Instead, we pray with open hands and try not to grasp.

In this season my prayer has been, “Help me to be present and grateful just for this day before me and trust You to hold the future.”

As I pray and wait, I’ve been reminded over and over of God’s words to Daniel:

“Daniel, I have now come to give you insight and understanding. As soon as you began to pray, a word went out, which I have come to tell you…”

“Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. 

daniel 9:23, 10:12-13

In these verses I am assured that God is at work even when I don’t see it, and I’m reminded that there is a spiritual battle going on too! There is nothing Satan would like more than to discourage us or cause us to doubt God’s faithfulness.

Don’t lose heart! Look at Isaiah 65:24!

Before they call I will answer;
    while they are still speaking I will hear.

isaiah 65:24

Over the past couple weeks God brought to us an invitation we never expected in a million years. We’ve been asked to take a short-term interim pastorate at the International Church of Lucerne, Switzerland.

As we have prayed and talked with them, this is the verse that keeps coming to mind:

It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us…

Acts 15:28

It’s not neat and tidy and there are lots of consequences as we try to rearrange our life to accept this call and go as a team. But the combination of our gifts, their need, and the timing, seem to be coming together in something that may be pleasing to God. We think it will only be 2-4 months, but it has made even the plans we thought we had, tentative.

I share all this in the hopes that it will encourage others who are in seasons of question marks. You’re not alone!

If you have lived abroad for any amount of time, I’d love to hear your advice as we embark on this adventure! Leave your thoughts in the comments!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram.

Are You Settling For Second-hand Jesus?

October 21, 2019 /

Recently, my husband and I were reunited in London after he had been golfing for a week with his brothers in Ireland. We had so much to catch up on – me about my time in London, and he about his time in Ireland.

He enthusiastically tried to describe all he had experienced – the vibrant green of the hills, the foggy drizzle, the cliffs over the ocean (and each golf shot :)). I appreciated his description, but it just wasn’t the same as experiencing it first-hand.

The next morning it’s zero dark thirty before the birds are up. I sit with my phone, earbuds, laptop, and Bible. A grande skim mocha, now lukewarm is also next to me on the table at the coffee shop. I stretch and consider journaling a couple of quotes.

I watch a video clip of Craig Groeschel teaching on anxiety, read the words of Tim Keller on praise, listen to an audio teaching from an obscure theologian, scroll through scriptural inspiration from others on Instagram, and then the Holy Spirit whispers, “Are the words I spoke to them, distracting you from the words I want to speak to you this morning? Are you settling for a second-hand relationship with me?”

ARRGHHH! Whaaat? You mean like hearing my husband describe his experience in Ireland, or Iike hearing about freshly baked bread, but not being able to smell it or bite into a piece with a crusty outside, and soft, warm, buttery inside?

Second-hand experiences are like second-hand faith.

Does any of this sound like something you’d say or feel?

  • I don’t have TIME for ANYTHING except keeping my kids alive! If Jesus is going to talk to me directly He’s going to have to shout over the noise of toddlers.
  • I love taking notes on sermons and filling in the blanks for my Bible study. I love getting the “right” answers. It gives me such a feeling of accomplishment without doing the work of figuring out the Bible!
  • Beth Moore and Lysa TerKeurst are so much better at coming up with insights into God’s Word than I am! I really like the ease of reading their summary of a passage in my devotional and how they’re applying it.

There isn’t anything wrong with learning from others.

In 2 Timothy 1:5 we see the value of a legacy of faith – mentors who inspire and teach us. Paul writes, 

“I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.”

But we can’t just live off of someone else’s story. We each need a first-hand experience of God.

We see the powerful effect of spending time with Jesus in Acts 4:13,

“When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.”

Wow! The world could TELL that these guys had spent time with Jesus!

Yep, God appeared to biggies like Moses (Exodus 3:5), but he also showed up and spoke to Hagar! He showed up for Hagar! An outcast in the desert! (Genesis 16). And the Samaritan woman at the well! (John 4) Similar situation, different God-story.

He walked with Abraham, wrestled with Jacob, whispered to Elijah, argued with Job, and struck Paul blind to get his attention. 

 As I think about what marked these people with first-hand faith, I can think of two important qualities that characterized their lives.

  1. They were relational.  They talked and listened to God.  Ever noticed how many times in the Old Testament it says someone “inquired of the Lord”?  Maybe your first-hand faith step is to read a small portion of Scripture and then to be still and then say “Come Holy Spirit…speak, prompt, enlighten me this day in response to what I’ve read.” 
  2. They were responsive. Because they got to know God and His character, they had the faith to respond to His direction. They could take big steps of faith because they knew a big God. As you spend time with God, note specifically what you observe about His character that can strengthen and encourage you to obey.

Isn’t it incredibly exciting that the story God has scripted for you and me isn’t inferior to Joshua’s or Hannah’s or Ruth’s or Lysa TerKeurst’s or Craig Groeschel’s, or anyone’s?! Each of us can have the personal, first-hand relationship with God that they did.

Whose faith inspires you?  What’s one small or courageous step you can take today to experience a first-hand faith?

Soul Food and Kids

October 17, 2019 /

Ahhh, kids! We want them, or they drive us crazy, or make us laugh, or give us a new perspective on life. This week I thought I’d focus our soul food on kids. Jesus said they can teach us much!

What if you took a few minutes today, or when you Sabbath, to sit with the following passage and consider these questions?

  • Imagine yourself as a little kid in this story. How would you feel if He said, “Let ______ come to me.”?
  • Imagine crawling into his lap. How might Jesus look at you?
  • When you were little, what did you most want from your parents? What do you want from Jesus?
  • What do you think He might say to you?

Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on themand pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them.
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.

matthew 19:13-15

An article about the value of children:

The “Major Defect” in C.S. Lewis (and Me)

If you are struggling with infertility, there are no great answers, but check this out.

Maybe today you find yourself sitting in a pile of ashes, feeling desperate. While our hopes and desires and plans for our lives are finite, an infinite God Who loves us can take our messiest messes and make something beautiful.

Heather Avis

For those who want to better understand the emotions of infertility, check this out.

If you are a mom, Thriving Home is a great resource (think kid-friendly freezer meals)! They have Table Talk Cards and recently shared a series of questions from them. Try these questions tonight around your dinner table!

For pre-schoolers:

  • If you could make raindrops taste like anything, what flavor would they be?
  • Who is a good friend to you? Why?

For elementary school kids:

  • Would you rather have the ability to fly or be invisible?
  • Share one thing you like about each person at the table.

For tweens and teens:

  • What is your most vivid and happiest childhood memory?
  • What accomplishment in your life are you most proud of? Why?

A book I like to give to new mamas: Today and Always, this is True, God Loves You!

Some Instagram posts to make you smile.

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. Psalm 91:4

If you are a mama, I’d like to close with this blessing for you.

At the end of today, may you rest in the assurance that you are enough, because God is enough.

You are beloved.

God, your perfect Parent delights in you. He sings over you with joy.

May He give you the grace to be gentle with yourself, and the grace and patience you need for your kids.

May He give you peace tonight, with the reassurance that He never sleeps. You are secure in His loving care.

One Lie That Threatens to Wreck Your Life

October 14, 2019 /

“This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.”

Isaiah 30:5

A month ago, humid, hazy sunsets and the sound of cicadas humming reminded me that summer was winding down.

How did summer ending make you feel?

Rested and refreshed?

Stressed about heading back into the chaos of another school year?

Anxious about all to be done at work?

Question: Is summer the only time (if then) that you take a break, or do you have a healthy rhythm of work and rest throughout the year?

And while I’m asking questions, why is it so rare for us, as Christians, to obey God’s command to rest weekly?

Dorothy Bass writes that we’re likely to break any of the 10 commandments, but the 4th, “Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy” is the only one we BRAG about breaking. That’s because in our minds…

BUSY = IMPORTANT

Too much free time is evidence that we’re not needed.

We’re tempted to buy into the lie that we’re indispensable.

But living as though we are indispensable threatens to wreck our life because it puts us in the place of God.

“Whoa! That’s not me!” you say. “I would never be that arrogant!”

Ok, how about a little survey? For each of the following statements, would you answer: Never, Sometimes, or Always me?

  • You go through your day with a perpetual sense of urgency or anxiety, afraid you may drop one of the many balls you’re juggling.
  • You find yourself moaning about how busy you are, but secretly feel like it’s also a badge of honor that demonstrates your capacity and importance.
  • You’ve lost a sense of gratitude and wonder about life.
  • The first thing you do in the morning is check your phone – either emails or social media.
  • You have trouble sleeping, worrying about things you haven’t been able to fix or finish during the day.
  • You text or check emails while at stoplights or in line at the store (or at church, or under the table at restaurants).
  • You bring your laptop on vacation.

Now it’s my turn for confession:

I listen to podcasts on 1 ½ speed so I can cram more into my time.

One of the most difficult but most impactful spiritual disciplines of my life has been observing Sabbath. But it’s also been a practice that has surprised me with the joy, freedom, and renewed perspective it has brought.

For me, mainly that’s meant unplugging. Phone and computer.

When God gave us the 10 Commandments, the first thing He said was, “You shall have no other gods before me.” Clearly we have many gods we’re tempted to put before Him. Sabbath is one discipline that helps us correct that – become more aware, and experience the joy of a day that’s different.

When we rest we are trusting God to be God. He’s good at His job.

I get it. There are different seasons of life that make this challenging. I’m not advocating legalism (Jesus didn’t either).

Sabbath may look like you taking a morning while your spouse watches the kids, and then switching roles in the afternoon.

You may not observe Sabbath on Sunday.

You may observe Sabbath as a family together. What would it look like for your whole family to power off one day of the week?

Maybe the place to start is to confess our tendency to put ourselves in the place of God.

Lord, please forgive me for all the times I put myself, and the things of this world before You. Please forgive me for my inflated sense of self-importance. You alone are our all-powerful, sovereign, Creator. You keep the planets spinning. You have commanded us to “stand down”, to set aside a day for rest and worship. Help us to obey this command with joy.

If you’d like a couple of good books on Sabbath, check these out!

The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan 

Sabbath by Wayne Muller

Do you observe Sabbath? What has your experience been? You KNOW I’d love to hear from you! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the site where you can post a comment. If it’s your first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up right away! And if you’re interested in some smaller doses of inspiration, join me over on Instagram. (You can turn on “notifications” in the upper right-hand corner if you want to know when there is a post.)

Taking the Long Way

October 6, 2019 /

It’s still zero dark thirty as I walk through my neighborhood to coffee, but I can tell it’s cloudy. No stars. No moon. It’s a blustery 48 degrees and I’m not dressed for the changing season.

I usually take the “long way”, weaving through the lovely back streets, but today my hands are becoming numb. I cut out of the neighborhood for a more direct route to the warm Starbucks with lights beckoning me through the darkness.

As I walk, I think of the Israelites in the wilderness. How much would they have loved to turn on a GPS and take a shortcut to the Promised Land?

How often did they think, “God parted the Red Sea for us! Why not provide a highway and a Maserati?” Ok, maybe not that exact sentiment, but something within the realm of their imagination, right?

How often would you like to do that too? Maybe your wilderness is singleness, or infertility, or joblessness, or health issues, or more month than money.

Yeah, we can see the benefits of the “long way” for the Israelites –

  • They learned deep, daily dependence on God.
  • They saw His faithfulness and goodness even when their circumstances didn’t change.
  • They experienced the value of community.
  • They learned the consequences of disobedience.

But maybe you’re feeling really cranky today and you’re tired of looking for the blessings. You may feel like you’re making excuses for God. That’s honest.

via GIPHY

Maybe today you need permission to lament. (Psalm 5:1-3, Psalm 6:3)

Maybe you need to hear that God is patient and sees you and hears you no matter how rebellious you feel. (Genesis 13:16, Psalm 40:1, 2 Peter 3:9)

Maybe you just need your weariness and pain to be validated. (Psalm 119:28, Psalm 34:18)

It’s ok. God is big and gracious and patient.

But he brought his people out like a flock; he led them like sheep through the wilderness.

Psalm 78:52

What has helped you in your wilderness? Share in comments! And I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! Come say “Hey!”

Have You Got This?

September 9, 2019 /

Our family, separated by thousands of miles, has been glued to the U.S. Open Tennis tournament the past couple weeks, live-texting through each match, expending way too much emotional energy, staying up late, willing our favorites to win.

I’ve been reminded of all the hours I spent in the bleachers, cheering for Katy, and Maggie as they played competitive tennis matches.  One of the common refrains from spectators and fellow teammates was, “You’ve got this!” 

“You’ve got this Katy!  You’ve got this Maggie!”

The implication was “You’ve got all the skill and ability necessary to win this match.  You have it in you. Dig deep.”

It struck me the other day that this is what God would like to remind me each morning…not that I’ve got this, but that HE has it.  He’s got this moment, this day, this season, my life in His hands.

He has all the power, and understanding and patience and resources for anything we face today.  He is sufficient.

And BECAUSE He’s got this, you’ve got this!

In what area of your life do you feel like you just don’t have what is needed? Maybe it’s something specific to today, or general for this season of life.

Moses didn’t think he had the right words needed.

Esther may have doubted she had enough courage to go to the king on behalf of her people.

Was the woman who couldn’t stop bleeding afraid she didn’t have enough faith, as she reached out and touched Jesus’ robe?

Perhaps Lydia doubted she had enough credibility as a woman leader.

But in each situation, the Lord essentially said, “You’ve got this because I’ve got this.”

Consider posting just one word or a short phrase (or a paragraph if you want!) in the comments that says where you feel like you “don’t have it.”

It might be something you need as a parent, a boss, a mentor, an employee, a provider…

Here’s mine: Lord, I don’t have the patience needed.

We can list anything and hear God say, 

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

2 corinthians 12:9

So today, when you feel like you don’t have enough faith, or patience, or energy, or wisdom, or grace…may you hear the Lord cheering you on, saying “You’ve got this because I’ve got you.”

What Do You Need From God Today?

August 26, 2019 /

I love biking and walking the paths we have in abundance here in Minnesota. 

While I prefer the 5 months of the year when we get beauty and color and warmth, (and have been begging the trees to hold onto their leaves recently), I’ll go out in almost any weather conditions. 

As I walk or ride around our lakes, I notice that there are always stretches that are my favorite – the lush, wooded shady parts.

But there are also barren stretches that I’d really rather skip.  Very much like the seasons of my life I’d rather fast-forward through.  Thistly and ugly.

The other day I was riding my bike and there was such a stiff headwind that it was really difficult to move forward.  Struggling against brisk gales, I rode along a stretch where I had never been before.  A dead and ugly stretch. 

But then I noticed something odd and seemingly out of place in the dull brown grasses.  It was a bench with “Come to me and I will give you rest” etched on it. 

Next to it, someone had left a pair of sneakers. Perhaps a reminder that this was holy ground – a hard place where we remove our shoes in God’s presence and receive from Him what we need.

It made me think about all the times God says, “I will give…”

I will give you a new heart. (Ezekiel 36:26)

I will give you hidden treasures. (Isaiah 45:3)

I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)

I will give you a new name. (Revelation 2:17)

I will give you an Advocate. (John 14:16-17)

I will give you words and wisdom. (Luke 21:15, James 1:5)

I will give you abundant life. (John 10:10)

I will give you the bread of life, eternal life. (John 6:51, John 10:28)

I will give you insight. (2 Timothy 2:7)

I will give you good gifts. (Matthew 7:11)

Are you in a thistle-y or barren place? How would you finish this sentence? Lord, what I need most from You today is __________________.

A Game to Stretch Spiritual Muscles

August 12, 2019 /

Ok, I’ll admit it…I’m not sure how many people are reading blog posts in August. I feel like I may be throwing words out into a void. So today I’ve edited and am reposting some thoughts from years ago. You can prove me wrong if you actually read this by posting a thought in the comments!

Spiritual practices are usually kind of like workouts at the gym, right?

They’re supposed to stretch the spiritual muscles that need stretching…to practice what you hope will one day come naturally.

Like you run a mile on the treadmill so that if one day you’re being chased by a bear you won’t collapse in a heap after 15 yards.

But that can sound a little…intense, so a couple weeks ago I decided to make a little game for myself.  

In our family we LOVE games, especially games with points.  (In case you’re worried about my theology, I know discipleship isn’t a game and it is about grace and cooperating with God’s work in our lives.  Just give this a chance! :))

I decided to see how many times I could genuinely affirm different people during the day.  I chose to give myself extra credit points for specific compliments that weren’t appearance related and for words of affirmation directed at strangers.

Maggie’s response when I told her about my game?  “Mom, you’re weird. Kind. But weird.”

I told her I didn’t think she was being very affirming.

I continued this practice over the week and it has been a rich discipline that has helped me notice things with gratitude…notice God’s gifts to me.

Some of the most fun moments of affirmation:

▪ Asking to speak to a customer service rep’s supervisor on the phone because she had been so helpful and I wanted to be sure she was recognized. (She was so shocked I wondered if anyone EVER says anything positive to Customer Service folks)

▪ Texting a young man with a reminder that I see God in him and he is a man of integrity in hard situations.

▪ Writing a note to a man who had been let go from his job, affirming the value he had brought to the organization

▪ Introducing myself and thanking a mentally challenged young man for the great job he was doing cleaning the health club.

Anyway, it’s been so much fun and has stretched my “gratitude muscles”

We’re bombarded with so much information that sometimes we need to just try ONE THING and see how it goes.  Maybe give this one a go and see what you think!

OR suggest a different spiritual experiment!  I’d love to hear your ideas!

Let me know what happens!

The Biggest Mystery of my Life with God

August 5, 2019 /

Prayer. I do it. I grow from it. I can’t “figure it out”.

Prayer is the biggest mystery of my life with God.

  • If God knows everything, why take the time to tell Him what’s on my mind?
  • If God knows what’s best and I desire His will above all, what does it matter what I want?
  • I have complete faith that God can do anything, but who am I to pray with the assurance that He will do what I ask?
  • Why did God choose to miraculously heal my friend, but not my brother even though the same body of believers were praying with faith for both?

Can you relate?

In the end, the reason I pray is to draw close to God and bring my will in line with His. We want to develop an

…attentiveness to God that is so intimate that over time we develop an intuitive sense of God’s heart and purpose in any given moment. We become familiar with God’s voice—the tone, quality, and content—just as we become familiar with the voice of a human being we know well. 

Ruth Hayley Barton

So anyway, my small group decided to read “Letters to Malcom, Chiefly on Prayer” this summer.

Let me just say that it is…deep. It may not be the book we should have picked to make everything simple and clear. This was our text chain last week.

Although prayer is still a mystery, experimenting and sharing our experiences has been helpful. So I thought I’d invite you to virtually join our little band of merry women.

3 Things We’ve identified that we’re not good at (there’s a lot more, but let’s start with 3):

  1. Listening is part of prayer and we’re not good at it.
  2. We’re also not good at confession.
  3. Integrating prayer into the ordinary moments of daily life is hard and we’re not good at that either.

What about you?

Here’s a practice that we did together:

Remember the acronym ACTS? Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication? Well, what if we added L – listening? (My friend said now we’ll pronounce it “axle”). Here’s an exercise we tried together:

Close your eyes and think of one specific prayer concern.

Start by offering prayers of adoration – How is God’s character sufficient for this specific concern?

Next, consider confession related to your prayer burden. Maybe you need to confess that you don’t have faith for this concern, or that you have been striving and trying to control the outcome, or that you have made an idol of the desire in your heart.

Thanksgiving. What can you thank God for in the waiting? What has He already provided?

Supplication. Just lay out what is on your heart.

Listening. Be still for several minutes. Don’t try to manufacture anything. I’ve found that often God brings to mind an image or vision in these moments, but sometimes He’ll bring Scripture to mind. Other times, crickets. Nothing. But that’s ok. You are putting yourself in God’s presence.

 Perhaps your own reiterated cries deafen you to the voice you hoped to hear. 

C.S. Lewis

I was praying for a friend’s marriage, so here’s my example:

Lord, you are our Creator. You made us for relationship with you and each other. I praise you for your good plans for us. I praise you for your wisdom that you make available to us. You are our Protector, a shield around us.

I confess that I often worry about my friends’ marriage and strive to manage or give advice instead of entrusting them to you. Forgive me for trying to do your job in this and other situations.

Thank you Father, that my friends know you as their Lord and Savior. Thank you that they have healthy role models. Thank you that they are committed to you and each other. Thank you that you have provided them with resources for counsel.

Lord, I pray that you would put a hedge of protection around this couple. Don’t let the devil get a foothold in their marriage. Guard them from temptation and self-centeredness. Draw them to yourself. Please bring greater understanding and love in their relationship. In the strong name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

As I was silent and “listened”, the Lord didn’t bring words to mind, but instead an image of Him gently tucking my friends in with love.

How do you feel about prayer?

I’d love to hear from you! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the site where you can post a comment. If it’s your first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up right away!

And if you’re interested in some smaller doses of inspiration, join me over on Instagram. (You can turn on “notifications” in the upper right-hand corner if you want to know when there is a post.)

3 Helps When You’re Grieving But No One is Dead

July 29, 2019 /

Late in the middle of a steamy July night, heat lightning pulses intermittently, illuminating the dark corners of my brother’s large, hundred-year-old home. In the family room he lies in hospice and finally takes his last breath with my sister-in-law nearby.

When someone dies, we grieve. We are sometimes confused, lonely. We have trouble figuring out a “new normal”. Tears will spring to our eyes, triggered by something random and unexpected. We lack the energy to do…anything.

Fast forward four years…

My husband John and I turn off our GPS guide and pull into a parking place at a new church in a new neighborhood – new to us at least.

We are blasted by the summer heat as we open the doors of our car. We’re early. Uncomfortably early, like the awkward teen arriving first to a pool party. We slowly look around for a main entrance to the sanctuary.

People who look very different from us are chatting with each other. We know no one. As the only caucasians, it’s a little obvious we are visitors. We are warmly greeted by friendly African Americans who try to make us feel at home.

After an hour and a half of hand-clapping, body-swaying gospel music and a message, we sneak out early in order to make it on time to a reservation we made.

We’re grateful for so many things. To be able to worship anywhere we want. To not have the responsibility of leadership. To feel welcome.

We are thankful, but we are also grieving. Grieving the loss of consistent, life-giving worship and community at the church we left after serving for 30 years.

Maybe you can relate to one of these situations. No one has died, but you’re grieving. You’ve:

  • Moved to a new house – cross country, or across town
  • Just had your first baby
  • Gotten a divorce
  • Sent your first child off to kindergarten or your last off to college
  • Started a new job or lost an old job

You miss old comforts. You are sometimes confused, lonely. You have trouble figuring out a “new normal”. Tears will spring to your eyes, triggered by something random and unexpected. You lack energy to initiate new things.

Change may be by our choice, or not, but to step into something new you need to let go of something old, and that involves loss…grief.

There are many books written about the grieving process when someone dies. But lately I’ve been thinking about how some of the same insights and encouragement apply to those of us experiencing the loss that comes with change.

Some of the same things that help when we’re grieving the death of a person, may help when we’re grieving the loss of a season. These 3 things may help:

  1. Lean into your people.

Some relationships may change, but call that friend who knows you best and listens well. Be honest and vulnerable. Risk asking for help. It’s hard to be the “needy one”, but let others serve you. Accept the meal or the babysitting.

2. Be gentle with yourself. This one is especially hard for me. I’m impatient to make something happen, to jump into a clearly defined new rhythm. I want to DO SOMETHING, but sometimes God wants me to enjoy a snack and a nap like Elijah before his next assignment (1 Kings 19:5-9)

I saved a newspaper article from years ago about a study that was done on the effects of change – even change like moving a few blocks in the same town. It showed that our stress levels go up, and our immune system is compromised, and we’re more prone to accidents. So take a nap, or get a massage and don’t feel guilty.

3. Pray. Journal your feelings and your gratitude.

Especially when we’re going through a time of transition, we can feel thrown off balance. There are new choices to make. We’re not sure where our solid ground is.

I waited and waited and waited for God.
    At last he looked; finally he listened.
He lifted me out of the ditch,
    pulled me from deep mud.
He stood me up on a solid rock
    to make sure I wouldn’t slip.
He taught me how to sing the latest God-song,
    a praise-song to our God.

Psalm 40:1-3 msg

We need to process our feelings and new experiences with the Lord. Ask Him to give you perspective and discernment. Thank Him for the places You see Him providing. Ask, not just “What have I lost?”, but “What does this make possible?” (I think I heard this question first from Emily P. Freeman)

This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?”

romans 8:15

What change or transition are you experiencing in your life?

I’d love to hear from you! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the site where you can post a comment. If it’s your first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up right away!

And if you’re interested in some smaller doses of inspiration, join me over on Instagram. (You can turn on “notifications” in the upper right-hand corner if you want to know when there is a post.)

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