Category: Soul Care (Page 5 of 10)

Does God Really Want to Talk to You?

March 2, 2020 /

“Marco!”

I hear Katy’s voice above the hubbub of the cobblestone square in the old town of Geneva, Switzerland before I spot her. She’s using our “family finder” call and response from the swimming pool game we all played as kids.

It’s an unseasonably warm and sunny February day. Outdoor café tables are filled with happy coffee-drinkers, students studying, and kids on scooters play nearby.

“Polo!” I shout, spinning around searching the crowd for a beloved face.

We spot each other and run to hug with glee. Katy is in Geneva just for a day at the end of a business trip to Ethiopia, and John and I are finishing three months of serving an international church in Lucerne. Of course we’d take a train three hours to meet for lunch!

I’m not sure why this has stuck with me, prompting me to consider what God might want to show me.

I think of God calling out to Adam and Eve in the garden, asking exactly where they are getting their information. “Who told you that…?” (Implied, “Not me!”)

I think of God calling “Samuel” by name, and Samuel searching for where the voice is coming from. “Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.”

I think of the Lord speaking to Elijah – not in the wind or earthquake or fire, but in the still small voice that requires him to be silent, lean close, and reflect on God’s gentle question: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

I think of the Father saying “This is my Son with whom I’m well pleased” before Jesus has done any of the razzle-dazzle healings and miracles we may be tempted to believe are required for this affirmation.

What an amazing gift that God spots us always, everywhere. Stuck in traffic, changing diapers, walking to class, meeting with colleagues…

He calls “Marco! I’m here!” and longs for us to run to Him.

We lean in and say, “Polo! I’m listening, Lord.”

He delights in talking with us, speaking words of love, correction, and guidance over us.

Which of these promises is most meaningful to you today?

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

psalm 32:8

The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’

Jeremiah 33:3

 “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

isaiah 43:1

Maybe there are other words from God that come to mind. Share in the comments!

Also…Instagram is a place I love to hang out and connect. Join me there?

What About the Undramatic Life?

February 17, 2020 /

“It probably takes many years of monastic practice to equal the spiritual growth generated by one sleepless night with a sick child.”

Douglas Abrams with Dalai Lama and Bishop Desmond Tutu, Book of Joy

So, recently someone recommended a lovely hike nearby to an area where the patron saint of Switzerland, Niklaus von Flue was born and lived in the 1400s.

He was a wealthy farmer who married and had 10 kids with his wife, but when the youngest was under a year old and the oldest was 20, he left them to become a hermit. According to history, he led an intense prayer life in his cloister (not far from his home), focusing on the suffering of Christ. Bless!

WHAT ABOUT HIS WIFE?? I can’t judge from my spot of privilege 500 years later, but I also can’t help inserting a little eye roll here and asking the question, “Who identified with the suffering of Jesus more – Nik, or his wife who had to deal with the daily stuff of dirty dishes, dirty diapers, and discipline with 10 kids to raise?”

We can elevate the dramatic, the “big” gestures of sacrifice for Jesus as the ones that really “count” in the kingdom and bring radical transformation of us as disciples, but really?

I’ve been thinking about “death by paper cuts” – the spiritual formation that can happen when we invite Jesus into the ordinary irritations of the everyday.

Come Holy Spirit, to the line at the grocery store.

May I find all the things to be grateful for even in the midst of disappointment today.

Come give me patience at the airport when my flight is cancelled.

Help me to see You, Jesus, in the joy of my kids at play.

Give me a willing heart to serve my husband in ways that are inconvenient.

Help me to be present to others as You are to me.

God desires to be recognizable in us in all we do.”

Beth Moore

What is the most ordinary place where you recognize God trying to form you more into His likeness?

The Benefit of Walking Awake

January 27, 2020 /

I walk on medieval cobblestones through the pre-dawn fog that is more reminiscent of London than Lucerne where we are based temporarily. The mountains that ring the city are completely hidden.

Coffee is calling my name as I head towards bridges across the Reuss river. I pass one of my favorite ancient buildings that I have discovered was a brothel in “days of yore.” I take time to pray for all those trapped in sex slavery and our friends who are working tirelessly to free them.

Heavenly Father, bring light to dark places of shame and rejection. May those who are trapped know they are beloved by you. You are the God who sees them and will act on their behalf. “A bruised reed you will not break and a smoldering wick you will not snuff out. In faithfulness You will bring justice.” Lord, for those working on their behalf, “Strengthen the feeble hands, and steady the knees that give way.”

The church bells of the city start to echo back and forth across the water and I pause to lift up all those we know in ministry around the world – worshipping in rented school gyms, and retrofitted reclaimed sanctuaries in Great Britain, with holy hands raised in African mud huts and home churches everywhere.

Holy Spirit anoint and empower them, give them insight, patience, wisdom and compassion. Help them to listen to Your voice above all. Give them soft hearts and thick skin

The early bike “rush hour” has begun …

…and I look for the father and son who pass me every day – Dad on a bike, son on a scooter, side by side. Dad protects, and gives his son a push every once in awhile to keep them together. It makes me think of the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

Lord, strengthen our families. Give fathers and mothers grace, energy, and patience sufficient for today. May we have hearts wholly devoted to you. Guard us from temptation and give us discernment as we interact with a culture that often is at odds with the values you would have us live by. May you bless our children, young or old, with unmistakeable glimpses of Your faithfulness and great love for them today.

I wish I could tell you I do this every morning. I don’t!

I get distracted and make “to-do” lists in my head (or have imaginary conversations where I tell off the company that won’t refund me for the skin care cream I sent back).

I share this one morning glimpse in the hopes that maybe we can encourage each other to pay attention to the small promptings of God through our everyday life.

Like believers over the centuries have “prayed the hours”, how might we weave prayer into the ordinary moments of our days? What are the natural sights, sounds, or smells that might be triggers to draw us to the Lord?

I’ve become convinced that the major challenge of spiritual formation is paying attention…walking awake to the movement of God and responding.

What if we let the sight of a homeless man, or the cry of a baby, or the sound of an ambulance siren, or the beauty of a sunrise, draw us to God instead of being “b roll” that we don’t notice?

What’s your experience been? What would you add?

Soul Food to Enlarge Your Heart For the New Year

December 31, 2019 /
@andrearhowey

Like many of you, I’m a little off schedule about now. I hate routines, but they also save me and I’m ready to get back into a healthy rhythm. Anyone else with me?

Christmas was “different” this year. It was our first time away from home, family and friends for a holiday that is full of sacred meaning, memories, and traditions for me.

Some of you, following me on Instagram have seen the lovely images of this place we are blessed to serve for a short time. Some of you may be in a hard season and may have felt a twinge of resentment or envy. I so do not want that! I want to bring you along and I want to be honest about all of it.

I’m the first to say we’re privileged to be able to dive into this adventure and enjoy a myriad of new experiences and relationships. We’re incredibly grateful!

I’m also kind of like the mom who struggles with infertility and after having a baby doesn’t feel like she can have a bad day or get frustrated with her little one because, she HAS a little one. I feel guilty if I get emotionally wrung out or have a frustrating day grocery shopping, because I’m get to live in Lucerne for Pete’s sake!

But I don’t want the beauty of Switzerland to obscure the intense personal pain we’ve encountered in the faith community here. Grieving parents, broken marriages, addiction, emotional breakdowns, loneliness… We’re serving in a small church where basically we’re responsible for all of the things, and we’re definitely not gifted at all of the things! (Read: counseling, administration, technology…)

I want to tell the truth and say we miss our church and the friends we have so much history with. Without complaint, I want to say honestly that as much as I love travel, I’m also a nester, a celebrator, a tradition-keeper. I’ve tried to be present to God and others here, but a part of my heart is at home.

Enough about me. How was your Christmas?

I know for some of you the holidays are incredibly hard and you’re glad they’re almost over. You’ve made it through the first Christmas with an empty chair, or taken the high road when the topic turned to politics around the table, or courageously apologized to a family member, or put up some needed boundaries. Know that you are seen and prayed for and I’m cheering you on.

What do you do to prepare for a new year? I’ve shared our New Years Eve practice in the past, and this year I’ve added some questions for you to reflect on.

Now onto the joyful stuff from Instagram and around the internet.

@ashton.creates
@letterfolk

I loved this story (and video below) about an adorably sneaky comfort dog!

And this brought such joy!

As we approach the new year, let’s breathe deep, lean hard, and press on, knowing that God’s love holds.

Soul Care for Grieving Spiritual Travelers at Advent

December 13, 2019 /

Next Thursday we are going to have a quiet, candlelit worship service here in Lucerne, specifically for people who are grieving this Christmas.

Is that you? You may have had a miscarriage, or lost a parent, spouse, or friend, and there is an empty place at the table and in your heart. You are sad and weary.

As John and I were preparing last night, we were trying to choose a couple of hymns that give voice to feelings of loss, wilderness, and promises of hope in the darkness.

I was transported back to my childhood when every year we had the tradition of gathering at my aunt and uncle’s house with relatives young and old.

After dinner at the looooong table stretched with many leaves and augmented with card tables attached, we’d move to the piano.

FullSizeRender-57

It was a loud and joyful time, but today, at least four people are missing from this picture including my brother. Maybe your pictures are missing loved ones this year too.

Now here’s the thing. I come from a musical family. We had cousins and uncles playing french horn, trumpet, trombone. My grandfather played the violin. Aunts and cousins played the piano. I think for a few years there was a flute thrown in. Maybe an oboe.

I had nothing to contribute but my barely adequate voice added to those who were able to actually, you know… harmonize. (That’s me in the middle back in holiday pigtails 🙂 )

I’m holding music for my cousin who is playing an instrument, but I didn’t need it for the lyrics. I know virtually every word of every carol in the book. (Yes, even Angels From the Realms of Glory). The Christmas lyrics are part of my faith vocabulary, because my family sang them over me, and into me, and with me.

This year there may be lyrics of celebration that are hard for you to sing. Impossible even. It’s ok. Be gentle with yourself.

A friend of mine says sometimes we sing faith words with joy and confidence.

Sometimes we sing them as a declaration of the truth we believe in spite of how we may feel.

And sometimes we just can’t sing “Joy to the World”. We’re too sad, and we let the community carry the words for us, blanketing us with hope that God is still with us. He is still good. That’s ok. Let the community carry hope for you.

Is it hard for you to sing this advent? Share in the comments.

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

One Breath Away From a Peace-filled Advent

December 9, 2019 /

I’m re-reading this post from Switzerland this morning. I edit and share it every year because every year I need it. I need to slow down and pay attention. I pray it will be helpful to you today too.

I really wish I liked Holy Yoga more. It’s healthy, and the few times I’ve gone it’s helped me reflect on Scripture.  And it’s so in.  But I’m just not good at it.

Here are the only things I like about Yoga:

  • the comfy pants that are like legal pajamas,
  • the fact that you do it in a group with great people, and not, for example on a stationary bike in your basement (like a crazy introvert),
  • the corpse pose (where you lay still with soft music playing)…

And one more thing…

They remind you to breathe.  In fact, I think that’s the only part I consistently get right when I go.  I mess up all the poses.  And I can’t make myself pretzely like my friend Brooke.

But then they say, “Don’t forget to breathe.” and I think “Yes!  I’ve got that down!  Score!” (Can you tell I’m better at competitive sports than contemplative ones?)

Sometimes the best I can do at Yoga is to just keep breathing.  Sometimes in the Christmas season it seems that way also.  You too?

Our to-to lists are too long.  We drop balls and forget to follow through with details.  And our regular spiritual practices and rhythm of time with Jesus may suffer.

But no matter what happens in the next few weeks, most (hopefully all) of us will still be breathing when we get to the New Year.

So what if breathing became a spiritual practice?  It’s one many of you are probably familiar with.  Breath prayer.

Think for a minute…What is a name for God that is especially meaningful to you this season?  

  • Abba Father
  • Gentle Shepherd
  • Wonderful Counselor
  • Prince of Peace
  • Emmanuel
  • Light of the World
  • King of Kings…

As you breathe in, silently say this name.

Then… What sums up your need or desire of your heart this season?

Peace?  Healing? Guidance? Provision? Wisdom?

Construct a short phrase that expresses this.  As you breathe out, pray this phrase.

For a long time, I felt out of control in many areas of my life, so my breath prayer was, “Abba Father” (as I breathe in).  “Do what only You can do.” (as I breathe out).

You might pray something like Mary did “Holy One, be magnified in my life.”  (Luke 2:46-55).

Or, “Prince of Peace, calm my anxious heart.”

Or, “Light of the World, illuminate my darkness.”

In heavy traffic.  Breathe.  

In crowded stores.  Breathe.

In tense family situations.  Breathe.

Sitting in front of your Christmas tree. Breathe.

On a walk alone.  Breathe.

Breathe in.  Breathe out.

Breathe deep. Lean hard. God’s love holds.

Just.  Keep.  Breathing.

Share your breath prayer in the comments?

When Sacred Rituals Become Empty Routines

December 2, 2019 /

It was a quintessential November morning – steely skies hanging over bare branched trees and brown fields resting for the winter. John and I started out driving east towards Wisconsin on 494, heading to my hometown in the suburbs of Chicago for Thanksgiving.

I was happily zipping along when suddenly I had to swerve to keep the car on the correct route. I had automatically prepared to get off on Rt. 5 – the road that leads to the airport because I drive there so much.

I was on auto-pilot. Not paying attention.

Think of all the things you do mindlessly out of habit. Maybe some of those routines have to do with your relationship with Jesus.

For thirty years John and I knew exactly what to expect at church.

We knew the words to the songs. The way to do communion. The rhythm of the service. It was comfortable. Familiar as my favorite tattered sweatshirt.

But there has been an advantage to not being committed to ministry at one specific church for the past year.

As we’ve attended over 20 churches, often we haven’t known the words or how to do communion, or if people raise their hands, or kneel or audibly say “Amen!” during the sermon.

There have been different styles of worship, and different environments for gathering – stained glass windows and schools and office buildings. It’s often been uncomfortable, but stretching in a healthy way.

I show up expectantly. Listen more intently to God’s Word. See with fresh eyes. Have my assumptions challenged.

A study has been done that says we stop thinking about the lyrics of songs after singing them thirty times. The familiar can be the enemy of spiritual growth.

John and I used to remind each other: “There is nothing so dangerous as the habitual handling of holy things.”

Mark Batterson writes,

“If we aren’t careful, we aren’t really worshiping God; we’re just lip-synching.”

Being shaken up in our expressions of worship, has made me think about how shaking up other spiritual routines might be a good thing.

  • If you don’t usually kneel when you pray, try it.
  • Listen to a new worship song.
  • If you read a set devotional, try just reading and reflecting on God’s character in a passage of Scripture instead.
  • Or try walking and listening to Pray as You Go app.
  • Experiment with bullet journalling.
  • Maybe you do the same thing every Advent and it’s time to try something new to open your eyes to the wonder of Jesus in a fresh way.

What would you add? Share in the comments!

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

Being Where Your Feet Are

November 26, 2019 /

Recently I was shopping in my favorite store, looking for a cozy top for Minnesota where it’s currently 18 degrees. The young sales girl who was helping me had heard that I’m in ministry, and shared that she and her pastor husband moved to the Twin Cities about 6 months ago from L.A.

She said that although they trust God’s plan, they are anxious to move back to L.A. next year (or as soon as possible). They don’t like it here! Can you even???

I just listened and empathized with how hard change and moving to a new community is, but after I left, I got to wondering if maybe I should have said more.

I remember when we moved cross country, away from home – me 8 months pregnant with our second child. We moved from the kindly homegrown midwest we had always known, to fast-paced, status-driven, political, transient Washington D.C. It was hard and lonely but honestly the most spiritually formative time of our life.

In the thick of things, I cried a LOT and every day I got on my knees and prayed that God would help me to be fully there (until He saw fit to graciously spring us from that purgatory :))

I think of Moses when he ran away after killing the Egyptian. He tried to take charge of a situation, but messed up, ran to the desert and tended sheep. Got married. Spent time in silence and solitude. Did he long to get out of there? Did he feel like he was waiting but didn’t know for what? Did he ever feel like “This is NOT where I belong!”?

The 40 years he was in the desert waiting, maybe he was learning humility, perseverance, faithfulness. How much was Moses totally present, with God, daily in order to learn these things?

https://www.instagram.com/thepracticeco/

It’s tempting to lean forward, to focus on

  • when the kids start school
  • when I get the job
  • when I get married
  • when we’ll “get there”, wherever “there” is that we long for.

But I don’t want to be so focused on the future, that I miss what God has to show me today.

We love a coffee shop in Naples, Florida, called Kunjani. They have a t-shirt that has been a great reminder to me. It says, “Be where your feet are.”

Did Moses have to work hard to be where his feet were in the desert? I do! Even when I’m not in a desert!

Maybe start with a prayer, “Lord, what do You have to teach me about Yourself and myself today? Here and now. Help me to be present and pay attention.”

Would you share where your feet are today in the comments please?

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

2 Things to Control When You Feel Out of Control

November 18, 2019 /

He [Abraham] did not know where he was going.

hebrews 11:8

I don’t know about you, but I ALWAYS want to know where I’m going! I want to know the PLAN, and (if I’m honest) I want CONTROL over the plan!

But often I’m dealing with “out of control”.

Recently I was with a group of friends sharing prayer concerns that felt out of control.

  • One has a husband in a toxic job and financial stress.
  • Another is struggling with a young child’s behavior.
  • A third has in-law tensions.
  • One is dealing with health issues, and another has a college student struggling with anxiety.
  • Me? I continue to feel like I’m being tossed around by a leaf-blower with no place to land for any length of time.

These are all situations where we feel out of control – praying and waiting and wanting to DO SOMETHING TO FIX IT! Can you relate? What’s your “out of control”?

If it’s any comfort, we’re not alone. The Bible is filled with out-of-control people who can’t fix their stuff on their own (think Sarah who’s barren, Moses chased by Egyptians, Hagar outcast, Mary a pregnant virgin…), and maybe out of control is the best place to be.

Maybe it’s good to know we will fail without divine intervention! Maybe we’re always there to a degree, but we just don’t realize it. And when we do, it’s an opportunity to lean in and experience God’s sufficiency.

You do your part. You pray. You wait expectantly. But what can you control while you’re waiting?

  1. Your tongue. By this I mean, now is the time to be ruthlessly honest. Show up authentically with God and pour out your heart. (check out Psalm 6)

Tell Him how hard this is, but also recite what you are counting on to be true about Him. Remind Him and yourself that He will never leave you, He is able to do immeasurably more than you ask or imagine, He is all powerful, His timing is perfect…

When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse everything I know of you…

psalm42:6 Msg

Just this morning I received an email that hit me hard and brought me to tears. A door that I thought was clearly open, was shut. I journaled about it, saying it felt like a game of cat and mouse. I was honest about my disappointment, but then I went back to the verses that the Lord gave me in a similar time of disappointment.

This isn’t a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we’re in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? … [No!] So don’t you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?

matthew 7:9-11

I’ve combined a couple of thoughts from Lysa TerKeurst and Craig Groeschel and made them a mantra:

God is good.

God is good to me.

God is good at being God.

I don’t sit where He sits.

I don’t see what He sees.

I don’t know what He knows.

God loves me beyond what I can understand.

2. Your ears. Who and what are you listening to? Sarah Bessey uses the phrase “Guard your gates”. Imagine there is a gate protecting your mind. You get to decide what you open it to. If you guard your gates, then nothing will come into your mind and heart that you don’t want in there.

Consider turning off any t.v. show, radio station, podcast, or social media that draws your heart away from God and weakens your faith.

We can also share with friends who will help bear our burdens, and listen to wise godly counselors who will encourage us in our waiting. Might you share the “out of control” you’re trusting God for in the comments so we can pray for each other?

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

Soul Food and Church

November 14, 2019 /

This is a little bit different type of “Soul Food” post today with some questions I’d REALLY love to hear your feedback on, so be sure to scroll to the bottom.

One of the best and worst things about leaving the church where we served for 30 years is that we attend a new and different church almost every week.

We’ve been to tiny church plants that meet in schools, and inner city worship spaces where we were the only couple with light skin. We’ve been to hipster gatherings in retrofitted industrial space, and liturgical worship in cathedrals.

We’ve seen that there is tons of room for many solid, biblical expressions of faith. The Body of Christ is amazing and there’s lots to celebrate about His work around the world! We are inspired by different creative practices we love. But we’ve also had the truth reinforced that there is no perfect church!

There is so much controversy and constructive conversation about church these days.

We read…

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 10:24-25

But how many of you have heard (or spoken!) statements like these:

  • “I’ve been hurt by the church and I won’t go back.”
  • “With 24/7 online worship, podcasts with world-class speakers, and small groups, is traditional church necessary?”
  • “People in the church are hypocrites.”
  • “My kids are grown. I don’t need the church to be spiritual.”

Some friends of ours have left the church they were attending and aren’t going anywhere now. When we asked them why they said, “We worked our tails off to engage and make friends, but just didn’t seem to get any response so we gave up. We couldn’t make community happen.”

So, two questions I’m thinking about today…

  1. Is it important to attend a brick and mortar church regularly?
  2. What are legitimate reasons to seek out a different church?

Recently, I’ve had several different people ask me about changing churches. It might be theological concerns, or a vague sense that the Spirit is absent, or lack of programs that meet their needs. I passed along the article I’m linking below, and also offered these thoughts:

You need to discern what you believe the biblical “non-negotiables” are, and what falls into the category of “disputable matters” (Romans 14:1) – places where you may disagree, but you understand there is room for people to land on either side of the theological spectrum. There is no perfect church where you’ll agree with everything, but if you go to church and feel like you are leaving mad, or arguing in your head with what is said each week, another faith community may be a better fit for you.

If you’re considering changing churches, this is a good read: Three Things to Consider Before Leaving Your Church

I’ve written a bunch about this in the past. You might want to check out Missing Church.

Scott Sauls makes his case for attending/being part of a church here.

And we see convicting posts about being the church, like these on Instagram.

I’m really interested in your feedback on this!

  • Do you attend a brick and mortar church? If so, how regularly?
  • What are your reasons for going to church or not on a given Sunday, honestly??

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

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