Category: Life-Giving Relationships (Page 2 of 4)

Puzzles and Racism

June 8, 2020 /

Raise your hand if you’ve tried a puzzle (or two) during Covid.

Me? I looked long and hard to find a puzzle with a picture I really liked – one I thought would be challenging (1,000 pieces), but have enough color differentiation that it wouldn’t drive me crazy.

Boy did I choose wrong! Can you SEE all the white and shades of gray???

Here’s the thing I know about myself. I’m a 7 on the Enneagram so I love EVERYTHING, but I’m not good at persevering and doing hard work on ONE THING over a long time.

Bottom line? This puzzle turned out to be a spiritual practice for me. It took me forever (honestly probably a month), and every day I wanted to give up, but I kept going – one more day, one more day. Note: I did not receive any help from John and for that I trust he’ll pay at the judgment day.

I prayed the discipline required to complete this project would translate into other hard areas of my life where I’m tempted to quit or take short cuts.

That’s why I’m sharing this with you. The challenges before us – fighting racism, changing unjust systems, rebuilding broken lives – are going to take hard work and dedication for the long-haul.

There will be many days when we can’t see progress.

Days when the pieces don’t seem to fit.

Days when it seems way too hard.

Days when we need to remind ourselves that our brothers and sisters of color have been suffering and carrying this injustice for hundreds of years!

The pieces of my puzzle, with little to indicate the picture it would become, sat on our dining room table mocking me. I wanted to ignore it, but right next to the messy pieces, was the box with the image of what I was working towards.

What’s the picture we’re working to create with God’s help?

It’s a picture of His kingdom on earth, one that won’t be complete until Jesus comes again to wipe away every tear and bring a new order (Rev. 21).

But until then, we’re turning to Him to strengthen and guide us to start piecing together a picture of the kingdom where we honor God’s image in everyone.

It’s a picture where love and justice reign.

Where racism isn’t tolerated.

Where the needy are seen and cared for.

Where people listen to each other with humility and respect.

With my puzzle, on the hardest days, just getting one or two pieces were enough to keep me coming back.

  • Maybe the puzzle piece we find today is listening to the experience of someone who looks different from us, or reading up on white privilege or joining a webinar on anti-racism.
  • Maybe today is the day we repent of abdicating responsibility and tacitly supporting racist systems.
  • Maybe it’s signing a petition, or advocating – writing to a government official.
  • Maybe it’s donating goods to a food pantry, or cleaning our streets in the aftermath of riots.
  • Maybe it’s a peaceful protest or fervent prayer.

Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done.

“These are the very days for the prophetic resistance of our joy and hope, for the practice of the Kingdom of God right in the snarl of the ‘Not Yet.’”

Sarah bessey

For Such a Time as This?

June 2, 2020 /

Those of you who know me, know that I’m a celebration and confetti type of person.

My husband says my life is made up of exclamation marks. Joy is my default and I tend to run from pain and sadness like roadrunner from Wile E. Coyote.

Hello 2020.

I can’t possibly understand what people of color have, and are experiencing, but I, like all of us, need to listen, lament and respond. I have tried to do this over the years and need to keep learning and getting better at being anti-racist.

I’m sorry there was no artist attributed to this. If you know, please tell me.

Recently, with more injustice and racial discrimination coming to light, I have been re-reading the book of Esther – a book about the abuse of power and injustice.

I remember when our girls were in grade school, Tomie DiPaola was the author of the month and our daughter took this book to share, but was told she couldn’t because it was “religious”.

Ironically, it is the one book of the Bible where God isn’t mentioned, but like a picture window in the home of a toddler, His fingerprints are everywhere.

In case you need a (very) quick refresher...Vashti is queen, married to Xerxes. She refuses to come be put on display during one of Xerxes drunken orgies.

Xerxes banishes her and announces a beauty contest to look for new queen.

Esther lives with her uncle, Mordecai (both Jews), hides her Jewish identity, wins the contest and becomes queen.

Mordecai uncovers a plot to assassinate Xerxes and tells Esther who tells X, ingratiating herself, and Mordecai

Mordecai refuses to bow to Haman, Xerxes right-hand guy.

Haman, furious, gets X to let him make a decree that all Jews will be killed.

Mordecai laments, prays, and persuades Esther to intervene

Esther supported and challenged by Mordecai, advocates on behalf of her people and they are saved. Haman is impaled.

I’ve been looking at the different roles people were called to play (or didn’t).

  • Like Queen Vashti are we refusing to take part in systems that dehumanize? (Esther 1:10-12)
  • Are we King Xerxes, abdicating responsibility and turning a blind eye when Haman wants to kill the Jews? ( 3:10, 15)
  • Are we like Haman, concerned with protecting our power and dehumanizing others? (3:5,6)
  • Or Mordecai, telling truth, leading his people in appropriate response, and encouraging the voice of Esther? (4:7,8,12-14)
  • Are we, like the Jews, lamenting and praying? (4:1-3)
  • Or Esther, challenged to speak truth to power with wisdom and strategic timing? (7:3-4)

Again, I am just a learner, but here are some things I’ve been thinking about…

I do not, do NOT want to abdicate my responsibility to use my voice to speak out against racism and pursue new systems of justice, but I want to humbly listen, listen, listen to my brothers and sisters of color and learn from them, not plow forward as if I know anything.

I also think I need to look for places to be a Mordecai – lifting people of color who have credibility I don’t, to places of leadership and elevating their voices while I support them.

Another idea I’m thinking about is how God may want to use our unique gifts in unique ways as we respond. For example:

  • One of my gifts is the ability to connect people. How might I leverage that on behalf of the oppressed?
  • Another gift is hospitality. What does it look like to use that gift to champion God’s kingdom where His image is celebrated in all its diversity?

A couple of questions for you:

Is there someone in the story of Esther who you identify with or who convicts you?

What are your gifts and how might you be called to use them?

Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage.

In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.

James 1:19-24 MSG

Soul Food for a Racially Divided World

May 22, 2020 /

Good news has not been 2020’s strong suit. In addition to Covid and job loss, civil wars, and a typhoon in India, we’ve had more racially motivated shootings.

I have heard racism defined as prejudice + misuse of power.

I am a racist. I have exhibited prejudice and have benefitted from the misuse of power in our systems.

I want to listen and learn from my brothers and sisters of other colors. I NEED to repent and join them in lament. Even in writing this I fear I’m going to use the wrong phrase, or further hurt or offend.

There is so much I don’t know. In this post I just want to pass along some resources and ideas that are guiding me, in the hope that some of you, like me, want to get better at loving our brothers and sisters who have a very different story than we do.

Ahmaud Arbery lost his life on February 23 during his run. Most of you are probably aware of the call to go for a run/walk for 2.23 miles in solidarity. I thought this additional suggestion from National Community Church was really helpful:

The run becomes powerful when we make it reflective.

  • Consider how Ahmaud felt on his run? His family afterwards?
  • Consider how communities of color are feeling now?
  • Consider your own feelings. Where can you be vulnerable? Who can you lean into?

I highly recommend this insightful conversation about racial reconciliation with Mike Kelsey on Annie F. Down’s podcast (the meat of it starts at the 20 minute mark)

Some books I’m reading that have been recommended by people of color:

White Awake

An honest look at what it means to be white

Love Anyway

Love Anyway is the story of Jeremy’s incredible journey seeing the worst of war–and an invitation to discover a more beautiful world on the front lines where you live.

God’s Very Good Idea

For kids!

Check it out! 1619 Project

Consider following some accounts on Instagram that may stretch you.

https://www.instagram.com/beabridgebuilder/
https://www.instagram.com/drop_the_stones/
https://www.instagram.com/preemptivelove/

Maybe this song of confession is an appropriate first step.

Frail and broken, blind to what You’ve spoken
This is my confession
I am guilty, complicit in the action
This is my confession

But You’ve accepted me, despite the things I’ve done 
You’ve acknowledged me, as righteous and beloved

My confession, Lord change me
My confession, Lord make me more like You

I am rude and heartless, speaking words that harm love
This is my confession
Proud and selfish, consumed with how I finish
This is my confession

But You’ve accepted me, despite the things I’ve done 
You’ve acknowledged me, as righteous and beloved

My confession, Lord change me
My confession, Lord make me more like You

Grow in me love and peace and a joy that won’t cease
Grow in me faith and kindness and goodness
Grow in me gentle speech, grow in me long-suffering 
And the courage to die to myself
This is my confession

My confession, Lord change me
My confession, Lord make me
My confession, Lord change me
My confession, Lord make me more like You

(c) 2020 NCC Music
– Written by Daesha Cummings, Joel Buckner, Josh Coad, Mark Alan Schoolmeesterss

I hope you’ll join me on this quest for deeper understanding and more authentic love. Feel free to add your own resource suggestions in the comments.

What Does Your Boat Look Like?

April 27, 2020 /

One time a few years ago, some friends and John and I were in a small fishing motorboat on Lake Minnetonka on a super windy day.

We bounced hard across the water, hitting huge waves and getting drenched with lake spray. Large boats cruised by us without a backwards look, rocking us with their wake. ⠀

An anonymous thought has been going around about our Covid_19 crisis:

We’re all in the same storm, but we’re not in the same boat.

I don’t want to just cruise by the other boats in this season, oblivious to the challenges they are facing, but it’s hard. Circumstances have changed drastically for everyone.⠀

There are those who are exhausted and stretched thin, serving the needs of a whole crew trapped in the boat with them, while also doing a full-time job and wondering if their spouse will lose his.⠀

There are others who are isolated and lonely, grappling daily with depression and boredom.⠀

I’m an extrovert enneagram 7 sharing a boat with an introvert who’d probably prefer to be on a one-person jet-ski.

Some feel like their life raft is sinking and they’re barely hanging on, while others have created party boats, enjoying puzzles, wine, and virtual bingo.⠀

You may feel like you’re on a slow-moving funeral barge, or a solid, steady cruise ship.⠀

The danger I’ve found is assuming anything about the boat others are in.

I’ve been insensitive, forgetting to check in with some who are isolated.

I’ve also become frustrated with unresponsive friends who are stressed to the max on the other.

We need grace, grace, and more grace – for others, and for ourselves in these days.

I think of the verse that characterizes one of my mentors and is my prayer:

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

colossians 4:6

What does your boat look and feel like today? I really want to know!

I shared this first on Instagram. Would love to see you there!


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The Power of Knowing You’re Seen

February 12, 2020 /

My car slides down the steep driveway through two inches of fresh snow as I back onto the street. Early morning darkness is the only thing that matches my surroundings of yesterday in Lucerne.

We’re home in Minneapolis for one day. We’ve missed a whole season. Christmas and New Years have come and gone without us. Valentines Day will pass before we’re back too.

The few houses with twinkle lights still shining make me both happy and sad. The carols have been sung, the candles have been lit and familiar Bible passages read. The hugs and laughter and catching up at parties in homes bright and welcoming have all happened without us.

I’m out of sync. Out of place. Our community has gone on without us. Has there been any sense of a hole left where we were?

I’m reminded this is not our “true” home. Will there be a kingdom shaped hole on earth when we die?

We’re human, so we all long to matter to someone, to be missed.

Today, maybe you need to be reminded of how “seen” you are by the God of the universe and, how much you matter. 

 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
    I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. Psalm 32:8
 “You are the God who sees me,” Genesis 16:13
But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love. Psalm 34:18
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:7
You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
 Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me...
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:1-5,16

Maybe someone else needs to know they matter too. Send a text or note? If you haven’t signed up to get my freebie that has prompts for each month and reflections, called “A Year of Grace Notes” you can still get it by clicking here!

How to Live in the Tension of Relationships that are…Complicated, Part 2

January 20, 2020 /

The other day I posted some thoughts about complicated relationships and the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Still, there are hard decisions to navigate when there is conflict among friends or family. How do we commit to both grace and truth?

If your 7 year old daughter scores two goals and plays a great game of soccer, but kicks someone on the opposing team while they’re down and walks away, is it right to only say “Way to go! You were awesome! You are such a great soccer player!”?

Is it a blessing to only affirm without also naming the pain caused to the opposing player? Obviously not, but other situations aren’t as clear. It’s…complicated, right?

Truth without grace isn’t really true. Rather, it is aggression disguised as discernment.
And grace without truth isn’t really gracious. Rather, it is codependency disguised as love.

Scott Sauls

This is the hard balance we try to navigate.

Photo by Leio McLaren (@leiomclaren) on Unsplash

Some of us lean towards grace, but are afraid of speaking truth. We hate the discomfort. We want people to like us.

Others lean towards truth telling. We are justice oriented, committed to right and wrong. We feel it’s most important not to let an offense slide.

How do we live like Jesus in these complicated relationships?

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

John 1:14

You know the TSA motto? “If you see something, say something.”  Maybe it applies to relationships too…with a caveat.

Regardless of how you feel, if you see something positive in the other –  anything “excellent or praiseworthy” call it out! Affirm! Cheer! Celebrate!

But… If you see/feel something negative or wounding? That’s trickier.

Maybe say something, but first sit with it in the presence of God. Ask yourself:

  1. Why do I feel offended? Is this about me and some wound from my past, or is this about them?
  2. What is my part in this offense? Owning that is part of the “say something” too.
  3. If I talk to the other about this, is my motive one of blessing and bringing life (even if it is hard or uncomfortable), or do I just want to make myself feel better by telling them what a mean person they are?

What matters more to us—that we successfully put others in their place, or that we are known to love well? God have mercy on us if we do not love well because all that matters to us is being right and winning arguments.

scot sauls

4. Will this person be able to “hear” truth from me (as opposed to someone else), right now, and receive it in a way that is helpful? My spiritual director pointed out that timing is important. Look at Jesus’ words:

“I still have many things to tell you, but you can’t handle them now.”

John 16:12

Ohmygosh I have gotten this wrong sooooo many times!  Know that as I post this, I’m stumbling along, asking Jesus to grow me in this area.

A friend of ours recently said, “You can say anything as long as you say it at the right time and in the right key.” Paul said it like this:

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Colossians 4:6

What about you? You KNOW I’d love to hear from you! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the site where you can post a comment. If it’s your first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up right away! And if you’re interested in some smaller doses of joy and community connection, join me over on Instagram. (You can turn on “notifications” in the upper right-hand corner if you want to know when there is a post.)

How To Live in the Tension of Relationships that are…Complicated, Part 1

January 13, 2020 /

I grew up in a classic TV “Leave it to Beaver” type home. No, my mom didn’t wear pearls while vacuuming, but life was predictable. You were kind to people and they were kind to you. You made mistakes, but you owned them, asked forgiveness, and it was given.

Life was simple. Safe. We were far from perfect (ahem), but I wasn’t aware of any drama growing up. My parents didn’t gossip, and they didn’t “ice” people out when there was conflict.

Boy did I get a wake-up call in adulthood! Relationships can be…complicated, right?

Someone criticizes us, or hurts our feelings…to our face, or worse, behind our back.

Several years ago, my husband John and I sat with a friend and colleague as he spewed criticism with such intensity and vitriol that it felt physical, like a bucket of bitterness was being dumped on our heads. John listened long and then said, “You’re right. We may not agree on everything, but here are two places where I think I made mistakes.” He proceeded to name them specifically.

After that, I waited for our friend to respond with some recognition of the possibility that perhaps his perspective was limited, or he also might be fallible. I hoped at least, for a recommitment to partnership in ministry, or acknowledgment of God’s redemptive power, but it never came.

Hard stuff to swallow. My journals reflect how much I have wrestled with what, if anything, to do in response.

Maybe you’ve been in a similar situation. What do you do?

It seems we often move to one of two extremes when someone offends us.

  1. We lob “truth” grenades – hurling an explosive angry tirade towards the other (often in an email or even on social media), and then retreating to our bunker.

Or…

2. We stuff our resentment in the guise of “grace”, paste on a smile, and never address it.

Both may feel safe, but really? Maybe we’re just cowards either way.

In Scripture we’re told:

“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing….” 1 Peter 3:9

But what does that look like in real life?

Usually in complicated relationships there’s plenty of blame to go around. We tend to magnify the ways we feel mistreated and minimize our own responsibility. I know I do!

Instead, we need to both ask for forgiveness, and offer forgiveness where needed.

Forgiveness is a way of blessing the other. Forgiveness says ” I want God’s best for you regardless of what you’ve done to me.”

In a Psychology Today article, Ryan Howes writes:

…reconciliation is an interpersonal process where you dialogue with the offender about what happened, exchange stories, express the hurt, listen for the remorse, and begin to reestablish trust. It’s a much more complicated, involved process that includes, but moves beyond forgiveness. Forgiveness is solo, reconciliation is a joint venture.

Ryan howes

Forgiveness is always possible, and so is redemption, but reconciliation is not. We are called to forgive no matter what, but if the other person is not willing to engage or own their part, you may not be able to reconcile the relationship. Even without reconciliation God can always, always redeem the pain though, if we look to Him to teach us through it.

What does it look like to choose blessing, to be “for” the other person whether they have been kind to you, or not?

Maybe, beyond forgiveness, it means praying for the other as authentically as you can.

Lord, I pray that You would pour out your love and mercy on friends who have hurt us. Help me to see the pain that may be motivating their words and actions. Help me to extend grace to them as You do to me.

What have you learned about navigating conflict? I’ll post more on this next week, but in the meantime, I’d love to hear from you! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the site where you can post a comment. If it’s your first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up right away! And if you’re interested in some smaller doses of joy and community, join me over on Instagram. (You can turn on “notifications” in the upper right-hand corner if you want to know when there is a post.)

Two Important Questions to Ask of People Different From Us

January 6, 2020 /

Some things are just tough.

Like figuring out why people are fascinated with the Kardashians, or how to fold fitted sheets, or what makes some people able to eat a kabillion Trader Joe’s dark chocolate covered almonds with sea salt and not gain a pound.

Or, you know…how to achieve peace between all the people in all the places.

When it comes to the Middle East I keep wanting to say, “Lord I’m a bear of Very Little Brain” like Winnie the Pooh.

I have a long way to go, but God is patient and often a theme gradually emerges.

The truest thing I’m learning about peace is that keeping people at a distance makes it easy to demonize them.

But coming close topples the walls of misunderstanding.

This morning God reinforced this as I re-read the story of when God comes close to Hagar.

Sarah, wife of Abraham, mistreated Hagar, the surrogate “wife” who runs away into the desert, (Sounds like “Real Wives of the Middle East”, right?)

Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar each have a story.  Each are seen and loved by God. But they have trouble seeing and loving each other.

In the desert and in her pain, God meets Hagar and models something I’m thinking I can learn from (even with my little bear brain).

Even though Abraham and Sarah only call Hagar “servant”, God calls her by name.

He sees her!  (16:13)

And He asks her two questions:

Where have you come from?

and

Where are you going?

Traveling in the Middle East I’ve learned that everyone has a story of injustices that have happened in the past, and everyone is trying to hold on to their hopes for a future.

As we try to draw close and understand those who are different from us, whether it’s Israeli’s and Palestinians or Republicans and Democrats, gay and straight, I wonder if learning someone’s name, looking them in the eye and asking them questions like these is a place to start…

Who might you ask today:  Where have you come from?  Where do you want to go?

 

Are You Settling For Second-hand Jesus?

October 21, 2019 /

Recently, my husband and I were reunited in London after he had been golfing for a week with his brothers in Ireland. We had so much to catch up on – me about my time in London, and he about his time in Ireland.

He enthusiastically tried to describe all he had experienced – the vibrant green of the hills, the foggy drizzle, the cliffs over the ocean (and each golf shot :)). I appreciated his description, but it just wasn’t the same as experiencing it first-hand.

The next morning it’s zero dark thirty before the birds are up. I sit with my phone, earbuds, laptop, and Bible. A grande skim mocha, now lukewarm is also next to me on the table at the coffee shop. I stretch and consider journaling a couple of quotes.

I watch a video clip of Craig Groeschel teaching on anxiety, read the words of Tim Keller on praise, listen to an audio teaching from an obscure theologian, scroll through scriptural inspiration from others on Instagram, and then the Holy Spirit whispers, “Are the words I spoke to them, distracting you from the words I want to speak to you this morning? Are you settling for a second-hand relationship with me?”

ARRGHHH! Whaaat? You mean like hearing my husband describe his experience in Ireland, or Iike hearing about freshly baked bread, but not being able to smell it or bite into a piece with a crusty outside, and soft, warm, buttery inside?

Second-hand experiences are like second-hand faith.

Does any of this sound like something you’d say or feel?

  • I don’t have TIME for ANYTHING except keeping my kids alive! If Jesus is going to talk to me directly He’s going to have to shout over the noise of toddlers.
  • I love taking notes on sermons and filling in the blanks for my Bible study. I love getting the “right” answers. It gives me such a feeling of accomplishment without doing the work of figuring out the Bible!
  • Beth Moore and Lysa TerKeurst are so much better at coming up with insights into God’s Word than I am! I really like the ease of reading their summary of a passage in my devotional and how they’re applying it.

There isn’t anything wrong with learning from others.

In 2 Timothy 1:5 we see the value of a legacy of faith – mentors who inspire and teach us. Paul writes, 

“I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.”

But we can’t just live off of someone else’s story. We each need a first-hand experience of God.

We see the powerful effect of spending time with Jesus in Acts 4:13,

“When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.”

Wow! The world could TELL that these guys had spent time with Jesus!

Yep, God appeared to biggies like Moses (Exodus 3:5), but he also showed up and spoke to Hagar! He showed up for Hagar! An outcast in the desert! (Genesis 16). And the Samaritan woman at the well! (John 4) Similar situation, different God-story.

He walked with Abraham, wrestled with Jacob, whispered to Elijah, argued with Job, and struck Paul blind to get his attention. 

 As I think about what marked these people with first-hand faith, I can think of two important qualities that characterized their lives.

  1. They were relational.  They talked and listened to God.  Ever noticed how many times in the Old Testament it says someone “inquired of the Lord”?  Maybe your first-hand faith step is to read a small portion of Scripture and then to be still and then say “Come Holy Spirit…speak, prompt, enlighten me this day in response to what I’ve read.” 
  2. They were responsive. Because they got to know God and His character, they had the faith to respond to His direction. They could take big steps of faith because they knew a big God. As you spend time with God, note specifically what you observe about His character that can strengthen and encourage you to obey.

Isn’t it incredibly exciting that the story God has scripted for you and me isn’t inferior to Joshua’s or Hannah’s or Ruth’s or Lysa TerKeurst’s or Craig Groeschel’s, or anyone’s?! Each of us can have the personal, first-hand relationship with God that they did.

Whose faith inspires you?  What’s one small or courageous step you can take today to experience a first-hand faith?

5 Soul Food Questions for Autumn

October 11, 2019 /
  1. What are you thankful for?

We have been traveling a LOT this fall and I am so grateful for all our experiences, but you know what I am most thankful for? In each place we visited it was like God had a divine appointment for us – an important conversation that we didn’t expect – with someone who needed encouragement, or wisdom or just a listening ear. I am so thankful for these sacred moments and the sense of God’s presence in the midst.

I also could not stop taking pictures of the trees up in northern Minnesota!! So grateful for fall beauty!

Can you even stand how gorgeous this is??

I’m all about gathering people and connecting – whether around a bonfire, a table, or on a walk, and Fall is the perfect time for this, right??

2. Who are you going to gather around your table (or bonfire, or pumpkin patch, or trail?)

For one dinner I’m hosting, I mailed the invites on postcards from the place we honeymooned. I asked the people coming to bring a side dish representative of where they honeymooned or traveled on a recent trip. Someone who went to Door County, Wisconsin recently is bringing a cherry pie. Since we were in France in September, I’m making a French Wine and Mustard Chicken recipe.

3. What are you going to cook/bake/or have others make?

Here are a couple of super easy recipes I’ve been making on repeat.

Yummy Buns

  • 1 lb ground beef
  • 1 ts. salt
  • 1 ts. pepper
  • 1 ts. cumin
  • 1 ts. mustard powder
  • 1/2 ts. smoked paprika
  • 2 c. diced onions 91 whole)
  • 3-4 cloves garlic minced (I use minced garlic from a bottle)
  • 1 10 oz. can Ro-tel tomatoes (I use mild, but you can go spicy if you want)
  • 12 slices cheddar cheese
  • 12 Hawaiian slider buns

Glaze for topping:

  • 1/2 cup butter
  • 2 TB brown sugar
  • 1 TB Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 TB mustard
  • 1 TB sesame seeds

Pumpkin Dump Cake

Bottom:

  • 1 pkg. yellow cake mix (SET ASIDE ONE CUP DRY FOR TOPPING – I always forget this part)
  • 1/2 cup melted butter
  • 1 egg

Mix and pat in bottom of greased 9×13 pan

Filling:

  • 1lb can Pumpking pie mix (Not just plain pumpkin)
  • 1 small can evaporated milk
  • 2 eggs

Mix and pour over bottom

Topping:

  • 1 cup yellow cake mix saved from above
  • 1 ts. cinnamon
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1/4 cup margarine cut into the mixture with sharp knife

Crumble topping over filling and bake @350 45 minutes. Don’t over-cook. (I’ve had the bottom get too done. It’s supposed to be just barely set.) Serve with ice cream FTW!

4. What will you talk about?

Let’s face it. I can be a bit much for some people with my enthusiastic question-asking! I don’t want to always have an “agenda”, but keeping some good questions in mind can make the difference between a fun evening, and one that is both fun and meaningful. Here are a few to get you started:

I love this question from Letterfolk who I follow on Instagram

And some that I like to ask:

  • What’s been the most surprising thing to you about __________? (marriage, parenthood, your job, retirement, your recent trip…)
  • What do you need most from God in this season of your life?
  • What’s one funny story from your wedding or honeymoon?
  • Share about a favorite meal you had – was it the food, the location, the conversation, or the people you shared it with that meant the most?

5. How are you connecting with or serving people different from you?

Maybe make some cookies and share then with someone of a different political party or religion?

I’d love to hear from you! How would you answer any one of these 5 questions? Share in the comments!

I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! Come say “Hey!” and have a great weekend!

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