Author: lauracrosby (Page 41 of 45)

“Small things” and “Great work”

January 18, 2012 /

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about two verses in the Old Testament that sound like they should be mutually exclusive.  

A verse that I love is one where the Old Testament prophet Zechariah warns us not to “despise the day of small things.”  (Zech. 4:10).

I’m thankful for this reminder.  My days are almost always days of “small things”.  I’m tempted to consider mine a pretty superfluous life…To think nothing I’m doing adds up to anything with eternal consequences.

Conversely I consider my husband and the things he’s doing, and I often think of the second verse that’s been on my mind, Nehemiah 6:3 “I am doing a great work and can’t come down.”  You look at his life and you can clearly see great work he’s invested in.  He has the privilege of caring for the poor around the world.  Leading institutional change in the church.  Investing in eternity through ministry to thousands at our church.

But what if the small things are also the great work of God?

What if there’s “Great work” that looks like great work, but there’s also great work that never gets a shout out?  What about people around the world who are humbly, faithfully, offering gifts of grace…

on dusty roads,

in conversations at coffee shops,

next to strangers at airports,

in school classrooms,

in office conference rooms

What about all the small decisions just to remain faithful?  To put one foot in front of another?

What days in the Bible seemed like throw aways?  Days of small things that didn’t really matter?

The day David did the task of leaving his sheep to bring bread to his important brothers who were doing the “great work” of fighting Goliath and the Philistines?

The day Ruth left her home to travel with her mother-in-law to Bethlehem and start a new life?

The day the widow of Zarephath used the last of her flour and oil to make a meal for Elijah?

The day Mary and Martha opened their home to Jesus?

What if parents crept into their children’s rooms while they were asleep and prayed over them, saying “It may seem like a small thing, but I am doing a great work and I can’t come down.”?

What if businessmen and bus drivers and baristas and teachers and techies sealed their resolve each day to do the small things as Jesus would with the refrain, “I’m doing a great work and I can’t come down.”?

The other day a woman approached John and told him about a friend of hers who she had invited to church for the first time.  The friend walked in and saw that John was the pastor she started to cry in utter amazement, at the personal care of God.

She said that she had been on a flight from Seattle to Minneapolis having a terrible day and was in tears (apparently this woman has been crying a lot lately).  A man on the flight noticed and asked if she was ok.  At the end of the conversation he said, “I’d be happy to pray for you.”  When she walked into church for the first time she saw the stranger who had listened and prayed for her on that flight.  It was John.

In God’s economy, this small thing may be a greater work than all the more high profile things.

A small thing that has the potential to be a “great work” of God.

You never know…

What’s a small thing in your day that may become a great work of God?

Haircuts and Jesus

January 16, 2012 /

The other day I was getting my hair cut by Mary who’s cut it for several years.  We’ve become friends of sorts (as much as you can when you only talk in the beauty shop every 5 weeks) and have shared quite a bit about our lives.  I’m not positive where she is in terms of a relationship with Jesus.  I think she believes, but maybe has not chosen to nurture that relationship or be part of a faith community, or think much about faith and how it could impact her life.  That said, she’s a really good person.  🙂

Anyway, I was thinking after I left, “If she didn’t know I was a Christ-follower (which she does), would ANYTHING in my tone, actions, or reactions, or the content of what I said to her seem different than any other woman who sits in her chair every day?”   I mean, how Jesus-y is reading People magazine and talking about movies for Pete’s sake?

That got me thinking about a woman who was in my life many years ago…an informal mentor who had a huge impact on me.  A Jesus-like woman who epitomized the verse “Let your speech be always with grace.”  Her name was (and is) Coke (short for Colleen) Evans. It’s probably been 20 years since I’ve seen her.  Even more than the impact of her words, I carry with me “snapshots”…memories of times when her posture and her expression and her actions shouted “grace” with surround sound clarity.

Snapshot #1.  We were at a huge church party in a private home.  People helped themselves to food in a buffet line and then spread throughout the large colonial home.  I was having a blast.  So many fun people and lively conversations.  I had gotten my food and was walking down a hallway when I passed a tiny den.  There were only two people in the room sitting on a small couch in deep conversation.  One was an extremely  unattractive, and socially awkward woman.  And sitting next to her was Coke, looking at her with love, hanging on this woman’s every word as if she was the most important woman in the universe.

Like Jesus if He had been at the party.

Snapshot #2.  There was a concert at church in the downstairs fellowship hall.  As I walked in from the back I noticed the man who was the most bitter, mean-spirited man I knew.  And he was a vocal critic of Coke’s husband, the senior pastor.  But there she was, full of grace, sitting next to him, and leaning in with love in her eyes, caring for him, and listening with single-minded attention. 

Like Jesus, if He had come to the concert.

Here’s what strikes me as I think back about Coke, and ask my own question about any possible Jesus-y difference Mary might notice in me:  as much as Coke spoke words of grace, it was more powerful that her whole demeanor was one of loving, gracious attention.  When she was with you it was like you were the most important person in her world.  She would lean in, look you deep in the eyes, lay a gentle hand on your arm and treat you like you were of infinite worth, even though the rest of world might be ready to write you off.  More than her words, Coke had a posture of grace.  And that’s what made her different.

Kind of like Jesus.

Today I’m asking myself again, “Is there a difference in my life marked by grace that anyone would notice and think of Jesus?”  What about you?

Who’s a “Coke” in your life?


Wile E. Coyote and Fixing January

January 13, 2012 /

If you’re on a New Year high, victory dancing your way through January with the Rocky theme song playing in the background, high-fiving your co-workers as you check off New Year’s resolutions left and right, and trying to hide the corner of your Superman cape under your street clothes, this post is not for you.  Stop reading now.

I do think there are people who fit the above description.  And right now, in gloomy Minnesota where there is still only gray and soot and no snow, I really envy you.  But I also think that for many people there is a trajectory up and to the right from October through January 1st, and then…It gets ugly.

It goes like this:

September – “bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils”, the smell of woodsmoke and new text books

October – Autumnal pumpkinny delight, a cornicopia of color, cute kids in cowboy costumes and caramel corn (for Pete’s sake!)

November – Over the river and through the woods Americana… Family football, Thanksgiving, and turkey sandwiches

December – Anticipation and Celebration.  Twinkle lights and Jesus.  Need I say more?

January 1st – Parties, broom ball, resolutions and new beginnings

But then like Wile E. Coyote, being chased by Road Runner, we scamper lickety split straight off the cliff into thin air.  We hang there, the first week of January, look over our shoulder to the firm ground of December, and proceed to plummet into the abyss that is 2012.

Reality sets in.  You realize you actually have to DO something if you want to accomplish the resolutions you optimistically committed to and there’s an interminable winter ahead where a 3 hour football game at the end of the month is about the only mildly bright spot til…well, til Mother’s Day if you live in Minnesota.  It’s all you can do to limp along.

All that to say I’ve been a cranky pants and I’ve been trying figure out what spiritual practices might help me be more Jesusy in January (and the following 3 months if I’m honest).  I have a couple ideas but I’d be delighted to hear yours too.

My first idea is to switch the order of holidays.  October, November and December are hogging all the best holidays and what is January left with?  MLK’s birthday??  I say we move Thanksgiving to January.

Not exactly.  But kind of.  I remember hearing about a couple who was having marriage trouble and went to a counselor.  He told them to go home and all he wanted them to do was affirm 10 things about the other every day for a month.  Then come back.

“Thank you for ….”  “I like the way you…”

The couple did it, came back and had fallen in love all over again.  Problem solved. (Oh that all marital issues were that easy, eh?)

When I was teaching school we called that “self-fulfilling prophecy.”  Tell a kid enough times that he’s responsible and he’ll rise to your expectations and be responsible.

So here’s my thinking… January and I have not been on speaking terms exactly, and I’m thinking, what if we tried the practice of gratitude.  Infusing our day with as many shout outs of “Thank you!” and “Way to go!” and “Yea God!” as possible.  Has to be genuine, but you know my love of competition so I’m gonna make it a game to see if I can make January seem like November – a month of Thanksgiving.

Today I’m thankful for Katy and Maggie who always make me laugh, a body healthy enough to run this morning, my daily mocha from barista Corey, a husband who’s my favorite person in the world, and new friends coming for dinner.  What are you thankful for?

How Fluent are You?

January 11, 2012 /

I like to say I’m multi-lingual.  I don’t speak Chinese, or even Spanish, but when it comes to love languages I’m fluent.  Or at least “fluid” as my husband would say.  And even then I’m afraid it’s often a one-sided conversation.

You know the  5 love language idea that Gary Chapman popularized… How each of us have a primary way we feel most loved – through words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch, or acts of service.  These are ways we express and interpret love.

The thing is I love them all.  I’m not picky.  I love receiving love in ALL these ways!

I came home the other day and my husband John had taken down both Christmas trees and TOTALLY cleaned out and reorganized our storage room.  I thought, “Boy, do I have an ear attuned to the love language of service!”  Best Christmas present EVER!!

I SO wish I had a “before” picture so you could appreciate the enormity of this gift!

It got me to thinking though…You know how when you know a little of a foreign language it’s easier to understand what people are saying than it is to actually speak the language?  That’s kind of how I feel.  I have a lot more receptive language than expressive language.

How does anyone become more fluent in a foreign language?  Practice, and spending time with those who speak it well, right?

What would happen if we practiced speaking the love language of those closest to us today?  What if we paid more attention to the people around us who speak “love” most fluently and learned from them?  Like learning in “Love Immersion School”.

How do you like to be loved?  What love language are you trying to become more fluent in speaking?  I’m going to try to work on the love language of service today.

When Practice becomes part of Personality

January 9, 2012 /

I am a pray-er, but I don’t feel like I’m a very good one.  I don’t keep lists of prayer requests for others or date them or write down answers when they come, and I feel guilty that I pray on the fly a lot.  I journal prayers, but honestly they’re pretty self-centered.  I think I’m inconsistent in my intensity and devotion to this practice.

The thing is, I (and I think many of us) compartmentalize prayer like a word picture I read recently.  We can see prayer like little squares of syrup in a waffle that don’t spill over into other squares.  Prayer is in this square, and not that square.  We’re precise.  We follow guidelines.  We’re, dare I say, stingy with our syrup.

But I have the privilege of being friends with a man who is a drench-the-waffle-with-syrup-and-have-it-sog-up-everything kind of pray-er.  Literally, anytime and ANYWHERE you see him, he will ALWAYS say, “Let’s have a prayer.”

He prayed with a friend of ours over the broccoli in the produce section of the grocery store.

He huddled up with a bunch of half-dressed men in the locker room at the pool.

He jogged around our church praying for us when we first moved to Minnesota.  He prays with our daughters in the middle of a crowded room, oblivious to all around him.

Here’s the thing.  For Roger, prayer is not a practice.  Not a thing he does.  Not a square of his waffle to be filled with syrup.  It’s part of who he is.

Who Roger is is someone deeply in love with, and constantly in conversation with his heavenly Father.

Roger shows me someone with…

  • A posture of humility and dependence on God.  Someone whose life says “My God is big and I am small.”
  • An understanding of the character of God – His power, mercy, sovereignty
  • A perspective – an affirmation of who is ultimately in control.

Roger is about 587 years old, so he’s had lots of time to practice, but I wonder, at what point did this practice become a part of his personality?

What are ways you’ve found to incorporate prayer into the moments of your day?

The Not Best of 2011

January 6, 2012 /

We see a lot of people doing “Best of 2011” lists this time of year.  I wish I had the confidence to post the “best” definitively.  No way am I falling into that trap.  All I can do is share some of my favorites.  I’ve read a lot, but here are a few books that enriched my life in 2011.  (This is not an intense list.  I saw a list of “25 Books Every Christian Should Read” – most of them a few hundred years old –  and thought maybe I need to take it up a notch! ) Many of you may look at this and think, “Been there, read that, so last year.”  I would love to hear your favorites too!  Let’s swap.

Some non-fiction books that challenged and provoked me (in a good way):

Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick

The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson

The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan

Love Wins by Rob Bell

Most practical, applicable book on leadership I read:  Integrity by Henry Cloud          Another great leadership book I’m reading now it Great by Choice by Jim Collins

Favorite Fiction (Clearly I was on a WWII kick):

Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand

Guernsy Literary and Potato Peel Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

Sarah’s Key by Julia Jarmond

The Soldier’s Wife by Margaret Leroy

Favorite Memoirs:                                                                                                                      Jesus, My Father the CIA and Me by Ian Morgan Cron

West With the Night by Beryl Markham (probably my favorite of the year)

I wrote down enough great quotes to fill a year of blogs, but here’s one I liked:  “When God removes something from our lives it’s not because He’s trying to take away something good.  It’s because He’s trying to make room for something better.”  Stephen Furtick

I’ve probably forgotten some, but that’s what comes to mind as favorites.                          Your turn!  I’d love to hear your suggestions!

3 Questions to Ask When Community is Hard

January 4, 2012 /
Three months ago daughters Katy and Maggie moved into an apartment in D.C.
Together.
And so far both of them are still alive.
Here’s a sign I gave them when they moved in (Can you tell we had a hard time hanging it?)

How does this affect you, you might ask?
Well if you have ever lived with a roomate,
or worked with a boss,
or married a spouse,
or served on a committee
with a person that’s the exact opposite of you,
you know that living in community can be as ugly as putting Newt Gingrich and Nancy Pelosi in a room together.
Recently they collaborated to write up their experience.  Maybe you can relate to their story of community and share some of what you’ve learned in your experience.

Have you ever taken the Meyers Briggs test? Where you answer a bunch of questions, and at the end you’re assigned four letters that make up the basics of your personality?
4 powerful letters that tell someone all they need to know about how you’d respond…

If strangers showed up at your door inviting you to a costume party,

Or if you had to decide under pressure, which wire to cut to diffuse a bomb,

Or whether you’d say “Suck it up.” or “You poor, poor baby!” if someone told you their hamster died.

Well in our family, the 4 letters that sum up Maggie are exactly the opposite of the 4 letters that sum me (Katy) up.

In spite of being opposites, while growing up, the two of us were inseparable.  Walking to and from elementary school together, taking (voluntary) trips up to the local library to stock up on Sherlock Holmes books to read aloud to one another in the privacy of the latest edition of our ever-improving fort.  We’d rally the neighborhood kids for night games and home made video productions, snow forts and magic shows.  We were a dream team.

But then, something happened. I think professionals call it “puberty”. We turned into the worst versions of ourselves, camping out on the far edges of our opposite personalities. Things that were cute about Maggie became shallow and annoying. My attitude went from an indulgent older sister to, frankly, a superior jerk. Those halves on Meyer’s Briggs became like some sort of bizarre science class punnett square exercise gone wrong.

In our case, it took about 6 years apart and the advent of gchat to start a new season of communicating. Rather than the cutting remarks and dismissive sarcasm, we began to speak with each other as people, rather than sisters.  Each of us slowly slid towards the center of that personality chart, first recognizing our weaknesses, then working to develop into more balanced people.  It sounds quite nice and simple in that sentence, but some of this “realization” came through heated phone calls and the occasional adopting of our high school personalities.  AKA our “worst selves.”

Now, years later, here we are, co-inhabiting a 900 square foot apartment in the heart of our nation’s capital.  Had you told us 5 years ago that this would be our living situation, we would have thought you were a lunatic.  Surprisingly, it is going quite well.  There have been a few flare ups where we’ve seen those high school selves resurface, and it’s embarrassing.  But we’re truly enjoying one another’s company, the sharing of friend groups, being invited to the same parties, and attending the same church for the first time in years.  We find ourselves working to carve out “sister time” and we’ve seen this time become increasingly more meaningful.  As we earn one another’s respect, we are better able to speak into each other’s lives.

The bottom line is that when we allow the other person’s strengths to threaten us we’re our worst selves.  But when we move towards each other in humility, ready to learn from the other’s strengths, and seek help in the areas where we’re weak, we thrive.
When I can sincerely say, “Maggie, what would you do in this social situation?” where I feel unsure, and she can sincerely ask “Katy, what bus should I get from U Street to get home? or Who is Christine Legard and why do we care about her?” we both benefit.

What I’ve learned from watching Katy and Maggie grow as they live in community is to ask questions.  When I’m in situations where the emotion seems to rumble in my stomach and travel to my face and threaten to come out of my mouth in unwise words I’m trying to ask:

1.  What am I afraid of?  Really.

2.  What can I learn from this person?

3.  What questions should I ask to gain better understanding?

What collaborative, or community building situations are the most challenging to you?  When do you feel most threatened?  What is helpful?

Packing up Christmas

January 2, 2012 /

Daughters Katy and Maggie have gone back to D.C.

It finally snowed here in Minnesota (righting a cosmic wrong).

And I ‘m sitting by the fire in our kitchen at dusk with a cup of hot chocolate as I write this.  Maggie insists I call it hot chocolate instead of cocoa.  No idea why.

The Christmas decorations are packed away til next year.  Ornaments made with chubby hands and glue of love.  Unusual baubles brought from far flung places.  Decorations marking special times.

As I pack up Christmas I feel so conflicted…

I love and hate this time of year.

I hate it that it’s the end of my favorite season.  The end of twinkle lights and anticipation, shining stars and awe-struck shepherds.  Putting things away is such a mark of endings, while Jesus is the celebration of new beginnings that I love.

Jesus.  Every-day grace and fresh starts.  Every day!!  Not just at Christmas and not just at New Years.

As I was taking decorations down and wrapping up the creche I got to thinking maybe I should keep the baby Jesus out as a reminder.  Maybe not pack Him away.

It made me think of this Frederick Buechner quote:

“Those who believe in God can never in a way be sure of him again. Once they have seen him in a stable, they can never be sure where he will appear or to what lengths he will go or to what ludicrous depths of self-humiliation he will descend in his wild pursuit of us. If holiness and the awful power and majesty of God were present in the least auspicious of all events, this birth of a peasant’s child, then there is no place or time so lowly and earthbound but that holiness can be present there, too. And this means that we are never safe, that there is no place where we can hide from God, no place where we are safe from his power to break in two and recreate the human heart because it is just where he seems most helpless that he is most strong, and just where we least expect him that he comes most fully.”

Isn’t that great??  “no place or time so lowly and earthbound but that holiness can be present there, too…”

The decorations that have heralded Jesus’ birth may be packed away, but He is not.  He’s here!  Among us and in us and around us…holiness invading and redeeming the ordinary and the ugly and the broken.

Today, an “after Christmas” day, a back-to-routine and back-to-work day…How are you feeling?  Where might you see Him?

“Steep your life in God-reality, God initiative, God-provisions…Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now…” Mt. 6 MSG

What Formed You in 2011?

December 30, 2011 /

Tuesday night was daughter Maggie’s last night at home and I asked the family what they felt had been the most formative relationship, experience or spiritual practice for each of them this past year.  Like, what has God used to mold us into people who are hopefully more like Him?

I’m thankful they’re a patient, gracious bunch and they humor me when I pose these questions from time to time (As a side note however, we have totally bombed at the Crosby family Scripture memory challenge, but that’s another story).  In answer to the formation question, what the two girls shared was related to a spiritual practice.  For my husband, John it was an experience.  How would you answer that question?

Mine was an experience too.  For me, processing loss  that I’ve experienced on a bunch of different fronts over the past few years, was what I felt God used to form a deeper understanding of His character resulting in greater peace.

As I processed the losses I struggled to trust that God was still at work on my behalf for His glory.  At one point this year I was riding my bike and in my spirit I ranted, “God I keep showing up, but it sure doesn’t feel like You are!”

And quietly, gently, I sensed the Holy Spirit respond, “Oh yes I am.”

And in that moment I realized that I was equating “showing up” with ACTION.  My way.  My time! (like immediately).

After that little interaction, God kept bringing to mind example after example to correct my misperception.

“You may have experienced loss, but…

I am at work in unseen ways like with Elisha, surrounding him with horses and chariots (2 Kings 6:15-17)

I am never late.  I have a plan like with Lazarus (John 11)

I hear and respond whether you see it right away or not like with Daniel (Daniel 10:12-13).”

“God is a God who sometimes hides Himself but never a God who absents Himself; sometimes in the dark, but never at a distance.”  Matthew Henry

We’re all works in process, right?  We’ve never arrived.  But I think my answer to “What has formed you?” would be wrestling with God in loss.  And what He seems to be forming is trust and peace.  Slowly but surely.  What about you?

As you look back on 2011 what has been the most formative relationship, experience, or spiritual practice in your life?  What do you think God desires to form in you through it?

G-Chatting, Prayer, and Little Nothings

December 28, 2011 /

Hope you’re having a relaxing week with friends and family!  I don’t know about you, but prayer is such a mystery to me….something I think about a lot.  This was originally posted August 3, 2011 when our daughter Maggie was still in Guatemala.

There’s the supernatural feeding of the 5,000, the miraculous pillar of fire in the wilderness, and…G Chat.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (like I was, apparently), you know about this magical little box that appears at the bottom of your screen if you have Gmail and allows you to carry on a conversation with friends and family while simultaneously doing “work” on your computer.  This has been a delightful discovery, introduced to me by my daughters, one in Guatemala, and one in Washington D.C.  Sometime during most mornings we’ll each show up, sign on and Maggie will text, “Well, we’re all here.  How’s the fam?”

Off and on, as we leave and then jump back into the conversation, going about our daily stuff, we tackle problems like looking for a new home for Katy in D.C., prepping Maggie for job interviews, weighing in on important fashion questions, and planning a road trip together.

Years ago, when she was in high school, it was Maggie who learned how to text without looking at the screen of her phone, holding it under her desk and chatting with me while in class.  She taught me the wonders of texting too, kind of like a special ed teacher working with a very slow student.  I figured communication with my teen was at least as important as what her Spanish teacher was saying so I didn’t discourage this impropriety.

As I think back to my family, accessibility was one of the highest values.  My parents have had the same phone number for 50 years.  That phone # represents their presence and availability.  It never mattered how high the phone bill was, and I always knew that any time of the day or night they were there for me.  I knew (and know) that talking to me was their highest priority.  I remember the night I called them at 2 a.m. because I was so excited that it was snowing where I was in Texas and without missing a beat they shook off their sleep and joined me in my enthusiasm.

With our daughters it’s mostly texting 24/7, but last night I got a call from Guat.  Both of us home alone for the evening in our respective countries, we talked about important things like Miley Cyrus, and Bill Clinton, a friend who’s pregnant, what we were fixing for dinner, and how much we like Sandra Bullock as a comedienne.  We laughed a lot and missed each other.  It was a lot of little “nothings” that added up to an important “something” – being present and available to each other.

It’s kind of like a card we have loved to send to each other in our family.  On the front are Pooh and Piglet walking together.

“Pooh!” whispered Piglet.

“Yes, Piglet?” said Pooh.

“Oh, nothing,” said Piglet.

“I was just making sure of you.”

I wonder if it’s like that with God.  Do we tend to dismiss the casual thoughts, hopes, anxieties of our day that we may toss up to God as “not–legitimate” prayer – a lot of little “nothings”?  I wonder if it’s exactly those little “nothings” that add up to the “something” of an authentic, present relationship with God.

What do you think?  Do you feel like some prayer is more legit or real than other prayer?

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