Author: lauracrosby (Page 37 of 45)

What do you do with Easter after Easter?

April 18, 2012 /

My cousin died last week.  And a friend was deeply wounded by something a loved one said to her.  And another friend continues to pray for healing from a painful illness.  And another is deeply discouraged.  I imagine each of you could add something to the list.

And last week, after Easter, I was reading in John 20 when Mary comes and finds the tomb empty.  It was my “scheduled” devotional reading, and I’m a rule-follower, so I was obedient, and read it, but inside I was thinking…”Easter is OVER!  Been there, celebrated that.  Let’s move on.” (I’m not proud, just being honest).

I felt like those people who leave their Christmas wreath up til May.  Easter didn’t feel relevant after Easter, which I know is soooo wrong, but like at the tomb, God was gracious and showed up

I was clonked on the head like one of the Three Stooges as I entered into this passage as Mary.  Yes, Mary Magdalene, the one who Jesus miraculously cast all the demons out of, but at the same time, someone like all of us, any of us, who are ever in pain, lost, confused...

She’s so wrapped up in her own despair she doesn’t recognize Jesus.  And He’s RIGHT THERE! With her.  But at first her grief is larger than her God.  It’s all she can see.

“I will never leave or forsake you.”

And Jesus asks her “Why are you crying?”

I imagine a gentle tone and understanding in His eyes.  And I think, “What would Mary have answered?”

“I’m wrecked.  I’m disillusioned.  I’m lonely.  I’m afraid.  I don’t know what to do.”?

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit.”

And then Jesus says her name.  “Mary.”  And I imagine it like a parent would softly say the name of a distraught toddler as they tried to soothe away their tears.

In that one word it seems Jesus is telling Mary, and us, so many things.

I’m here.  And it will be ok because I’m here.  I see you.  I understand your pain.  I hurt with you. Just a few days ago I was the one saying “My God, why have you forsaken me?”  So I get it.  Really.

“Do not fear for I have redeemed you.  I have summoned you by name.  You are mine.”

So for Joyce and Katie and Sue and Nikki, and so many others I pray that you might sense Jesus turning to you and asking “Why are you crying?”  That you might sense Him truly enter into your pain and gently say your name.

Sometimes I guess I just need to be reminded that Easter isn’t just about Easter.  It’s about all those days after Easter when we cry or feel desperate or disappointed or alone and it seems like Jesus has left the building.  But He hasn’t.  So maybe I’ll leave the Easter decorations up another week.

Being Stuck and Something You can Count On

April 16, 2012 /

Yesterday I was trapped in an elevator.  For a long time.  All by myself.  And firemen had to rescue me.

Any amount of time feels long when you’re stuck.

After my initial panic… I saw a button that said HELP!  I pushed it.

A nice lady (probably talking to me from India) answered and said she was with the elevator company.  In what seemed like something from Candid Camera, she instructed me first to hold down one button for thirty seconds, then push every single button I could see, and then push the alarm bell button every thirty seconds.

I did.

Nothing happened.

I fully expected her to tell me to jump up and down next.

The nice lady, who I still think was in India, kept asking me if I was breathing ok which made me begin to think perhaps I wasn’t.

She told me she was going to have to hang up on me to call some other people – 911 among others – and was that OK ?  Hmmm… Do I have other options?

After I realized how stuck and helpless I was and that my cell phone didn’t work and that the walls were starting to close in, I gave myself a little pep talk and started thinking about other things…

This is like that scene in “You’ve Got Mail!”  They all talk about what they’ll do differently IF they ever get out of the elevator.  What will I do if I get out?  Why am I thinking IF?

Why couldn’t I have other people in here to keep me company and have a little stuck-elevator-party with?

What if they tell me I have to put my beach towel over my head and crouch in the corner so they can blow the door off with explosives?  (Clearly I’ve seen too many episodes of 24)

Is this a metaphor for being stuck in life?  Who was “stuck” in the Bible…?  David!  After he’s anointed and before he’s king and Saul’s all jealous crazy.  Moses!  In the wilderness!  Noah on the ark!  Joseph, Paul, John the Baptist in jail!  Is there anyone in the Bible who wasn’t stuck at some point???

God what do you want to say to me? “Take the STAIRS next time!”?

I wonder if the firemen will be cute and how disappointed will they be that it’s little ol’ me and not my daughters?

Eventually I started singing softly “Spirit of the Living God, fall afresh on me.”  I have no idea why.

About 45 minutes later, after a lot of noise, but no explosives, the doors to the elevator were slowly pried open and there stood two firemen in full gear with the overall/boot deals and hats on, axes in hand staring at me.  Yes they were “hot”, and yes it was embarrassing.

Whether it’s getting stuck alone in your flip flops in an elevator, or getting stuck in a season of life, my take away is:

  • Keep your sense of humor
  • assess the situation
  • do what you can
  • pray
  • and wait.  For God (and/or the cute firemen) to get you unstuck.

And mostly, remember what you can count on.

The sun’s gonna rise, the sun’s gonna set and God is still going to be God.

Where are you feeling stuck?  What’s an adventure you’ve had where you’ve been able to laugh along with God?

What Encourages You?

April 13, 2012 /

What encourages you?

A “Way to go!“?

A listening ear?

Someone caring enough to tell you a hard truth you may have been blind to?

A note letting you know someone (other than your mom) cares you’re alive?

In a few weeks I’m supposed to preach with my husband on the topic of encouragement.

Please help me out and share your thoughts and experiences on the topic!  What it is, what it isn’t and how it impacts you.  Examples??  

Maybe you’re encouraged when you see an inspiring story.  Last week I shared about my experience with Random Acts of Kindness and then this week I saw this (thanks to Austin Dannhaus!).  It so moved and inspired me that I wanted to share it with you.  Have a great weekend filled with joy and hope. (Be sure to watch to the very end!)

The Most Brilliant Investment You Can Make

April 11, 2012 /

Those who know me know I am NOT a money person.  I’m not a good budgeter.  In fact, I don’t even have a budget. (gasp!)

I’m generous, but not particularly responsible.  I don’t understand what a “short sale” is, and I’ve never done my own taxes.

Once a year when John and I meet for lunch with our financial advisor, Jay, my eyes glaze over unless he uses the silverware and cups and plates as visuals to try to explain the state of our finances.  Note to Jay: Cartoon characters would be helpful as would talking fruits and vegetables.

A couple of years ago, though, I got super excited because I had always really wanted to try my hand at the stock market and the guys said, ok.  I was sure this was my ticket to the promised land of limitless generosity, and, let’s be honest, a limitless clothes budget.

So, I asked a friend who’s a whiz in this area and excitedly bought 500 shares of a stock that I was assured would do great (because it was “diversifying” – my new stock word).  I put the “stock tracker” app on my iphone and was thrilled as I watched it go up and up and up.

Around that time I was in a worship gathering focused on Micah 6:8 “He has shown all you people what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

And in addition to high-lighting the needs around the world, they suggested a lot of ways to respond and bring the kingdom – the world that God desires, like back in Eden before we messed up.  Where everyone has justice and all the hungry are fed and all the thirsty have clean water and everyone cares about everyone else.

In what I felt was a moment of divine inspiration I thought, “Aha!  My stock!  My vibrant, up and up stock!  Before I know it, it will earn enough for me to buy a well!  It’s Yours, Lord, all Yours!  Clean water for people who need it!  Bam, done!”

That was in early April 2010.

On April 21st, we awoke to the news of the BP oil spill and my up and up stock went down and down…

And SERIOUSLY down.

Yep, that’s my stock.  BP.  And I was like “Um, Lord, did You miss the ‘It’s all Yours‘ prayer?  Do you not want kids in Africa to have water?  What’s the deal here?  I was down with being part of the ‘Your kingdom come’ plan!”

What do we do when we invest time or money in something that we think is of God, for His kingdom, and it just doesn’t work out the way we anticipate?  The way WE plan?

The passages that I read in the Bible about the kingdom of God are filled with weeds and stones, and pesky birds, and delinquent workers and some imagery I don’t fully understand.  It’s not all easy-peasy “Occupy Garden of Eden.”

But here’s the important thing I see over an over again.

We’re told to invest in kingdom stuff no matter what.  The stuff that makes the world more like heaven on earth.  No matter how crazy or hopeless it seems.

You may be a kingdom-bringer serving, in your cafeteria or a courtroom, or on Capitol Hill, or in Congo but never see the eternal dividends this side of heaven.

And there’s the outer kingdom that we can see, where justice is restored and the hungry are fed, but there’s another kingdom to be restored.  This inner kingdom where we’re on the throne and we need to hop down and let the true king take His rightful place and transform our character.

Maybe I thought I was investing in the outer kingdom, bringing water relief, but God wanted to invest in refining my inner kingdom, allowing me to be in a position to trust Him and His ways when I don’t understand.

If it’s a kingdom investment it’s a good investment, seen or unseen.  The Lord reminds me with 1 Cor. 15:58 “…be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.”

What are some of  the (even little) ways you’re investing in (or SEEING) the outside/inside kingdom of God?

How to Make the Top 10 List

April 9, 2012 /

I read another list last week.  Twenty Women Leaders Under 40 You should Know.

There are so many of these lists it’s hard to keep them straight.  But in case you’re wondering, I’m not on this list and you probably aren’t either.  Especially if you’re a guy.

I’m not under 40.  I don’t speak to thousands of people.  I’m not beautiful or edgy or cool or a dynamic leader.  I don’t have hordes of “followers”.  I don’t belong on the list.  I had no remote expectation or even awareness that there WAS a list til I stumbled across it.  But still…I felt less than when I read it.  Can you relate?

There are some great women on that list!  Some of them I consider to be friends and I’m thrilled that they are being affirmed, but still…after I felt “small” in comparison, I got angry.  I got angry and I considered titling this post, “Lists are from the Devil”.  But then I thought that was a tad dramatic and would make me sound like one of those crazy “fundies”.  Honestly though, I think that title would be pretty accurate.

What do lists like this accomplish?  Twenty women feel special and important and the millions of people not on THE LIST who are making small courageous, sacrificial choices, sometimes just “showing up” each day, are tempted to believe the lie that Satan loves to whisper.

YOU know the whisper: “They matter, but you don’t.”

So, I’m publishing my own list.  My list is made up of the 7 billion people in the world who will never be on a list that is Tweeted about or written up in a newspaper or magazine.  My list is The Top 7 Billion People You Should Know About.

My list includes Betsy who has MS, but painfully crawls out of bed each day with the help of a caregiver and prays for others in our church.

And Eric who is 12 and moved here from another country, with English as his 4th language, trying to ignore the taunts of other adolescent boys as he struggles to learn to read.

Rhonda is on my list.  A young woman who moved to Indonesia 20 years ago with her husband and eventually, kids, living sacrificially to serve the Muslim people with the love of Jesus.

And Loveness, Givison, Michael, and Sakina, our World Vision sponsored children in remote parts of the world for whom each day is a mountain of poverty to climb.

There’s Christopher too.  A young man with a good heart who’s stumbling through life, grasping, searching for God though he doesn’t know it.

And you.  You are on my list because wherever you are in the world you need to know you matter.

You may have wounds that no one knows about and challenges that no one sees and you’ll make brave choices and small sacrifices today. You’ll make mistakes too and you’ll fall down and stub your toe but you’ll get back up and keep going.

Yes, keep going.

Bottom line?  I don’t think God is a god of lists (at least not this kind).  Lists seem to be too much like assigning “places of honor at the table”…not exactly a kingdom deal.  So it really it’s no biggie that you’re on “my” list, but maybe the this will make a difference…

“You have searched me, Lord, and you Know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue you Lord, know it completely.  You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.” Ps. 139:1-5.

If God has a list, you’re on it.  How do you make it?  Just breathe.  And know that you matter.  You are loved.

Books I’m taking on Vacation

April 6, 2012 /

We leave next week for vacation in Florida.

I know, some of your are saying “VACATION??  What’s a vacation?”  And you’re right.  I’m grateful and don’t deserve it.  And others of you are like “Been there, done that, Spring Break’s over.”  But there’s a little thing called Easter that my husband kind of has to stick around for, so we’re getting out of Dodge a little late.

Anyway, here are the books I’m taking with me to read, along with the War of Art by Steven Pressfield and King’s Cross by Tim Keller on my Kindle.  (Oh, and if Seven by Jen Hatmaker comes in before we leave, I may sneak that in too)

I have a Kindle specifically for travel so I’m not lugging a bunch of books on a plane, but I just can’t help myself!  I love “real” books.  What about you?  Are you E-book readers or “real” book readers?

What are other books you’d suggest?  Maybe a little more fiction to round things out? 

And if you want a little more encouragement to read, check this out.

How to have a Hard Conversation

April 4, 2012 /

Tomorrow I am meeting with a friend for coffee.  I’ve been praying like crazy because I love this person and it’s because I love them that I’m anxious about our conversation.

I have some concerns.  I’ve noticed some things that I feel like God may want me to caution this person about.  But I have nothing to gain personally, and everything to lose relationally.  And…I may be wrong.

Like many of you I’m pretty much a people-pleaser.  I avoid saying hard things almost as much as I avoided hopping on the Yoga band-wagon.

So I’ve been thinking a lot about the Jesus way of hard conversations.  As I’ve prayed and looked for examples in Scripture, here are a few questions I’ve asked myself:

1.  Do I have enough of a relationship with this person to have this kind of conversation?  Have I built trust?  Do they know more than anything else that I love them and am for them?

2.  Are they open to letting me speak into their life in this way?  Am I assuming a role that I shouldn’t? Or is this a Nathan situation (2 Samuel 12:1)?

3.  Am I going into this conversation prayed up and having examined my heart for messy motives?  Is my desire to speak rooted in pride or control?

4.  If this really is a case of iron sharpening iron, am I open to the roles being reversed?  Am I receptive to hearing something from this friend that might be hard for me to hear?

5.  Am I going in with a humble spirit, asking questions more than making pronouncements, willing to listen and admit I may not be seeing things clearly?

6.  People hear criticism like you’re using a bull horn and affirmation like you’re whispering it in the middle of a violent wind storm.  Have I figured out how to integrate grace and affirmation throughout our conversation?  And if there was just one concern I’d want to make sure this person heard, what would it be?

The title of this post was misleading.  There’s no magic formula and if there is, I don’t know it.  I’m just a learner who is stuttering her way through – all Colin Firth in “The King’s Speech”.  Anyone can make a list of questions.  But a real conversation??  “Come Holy Spirit” is about all I know to say for sure.

What am I missing?  What would you add?

How do you prepare for Easter?

April 2, 2012 /

Do you ever feel like an Easter failure?  I do.

I’m not a very good Easter person.

It doesn’t help that usually the season in Minnesota is exceedingly ugly and inevitably it sleets or snows on Easter morning which makes celebrating resurrection and new life a little tough, but still…

Every year I pray to more fully enter into a deeper gut-understanding of what Christ did for me.  And what it means.

And I feel guilty that I don’t FEEL it more deeply.  That I’m not more horrified at my sin.  That I can’t better enter into the pain of the cross.

I pray.  I read the accounts of Jesus’ suffering for me.  And I wonder, with Paul, why “God didn’t lose His temper and do away with the whole lot of us.  Instead, immense in mercy, and with incredible love, He embraced us.  He took our sin – dead lives and made us alive in Christ.  He did this all on His own, with no help from us!” (Eph. 2:4-6 MSG)

It’s just incomprehensible.

How can any of us grasp this?  Both how wrong we are and how much we’re loved?

If I had to choose a life verse, I’d probably choose Deuteronomy 30:19 and 20 “This day I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses.  Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him. For the Lord is your life…”

Choose life.  I’m all about life.  I want to choose life-giving actions, words, relationships, experiences…

But as I’ve been reflecting on Holy Week, it’s all about the death that we must journey through to get to life.  So I’m thinking that in order to prepare to celebrate the resurrection of Easter, this week it would be good to choose death.   In a way.

I have a few ideas, of how to do Easter with Jesus, but they’re just awkward attempts…kind of like when I’m throwing bean bags playing Cornhole and have no form, but am all about hopeful.

As we move into Holy Week, I’d really love to hear from you what you are doing to enter in, to prepare your hearts.  Here are a few of my “death practices”…

1.  I wrote on Ash Wednesday about my non-Catholic self, processing Lent.  Yesterday I told Katy and Maggie that I was contemplating a fruit and yogurt fast for Holy week to make myself more aware of loss and to cleanse my body as a mirror of the cleansing of my soul that Jesus makes possible.  I was nervous to tell anyone because I’m terrible at any kind of fast, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to be held accountable and I was relieved when I told them because they were like “You can’t do THAT, Mom!  That’s unhealthy!” and they gave me an easy out if I wanted it, but I’m choosing different kinds of fasts – “losing” something each day throughout the week – food, internet, phone, t.v….

2.  I’m “Examening”.  I’m not an icon gal, but I’ve found this palm cross on my bedside table is a great reminder to practice the Examen before I go to sleep – to look back over my day, replaying the different interactions like video clips, paying attention to when I felt the most alive to Jesus and when He seemed absent because I let sin get in the way.  I always do this looking for life and praying with gratitude, but this week in particular I want to make sure I’m paying attention to death.  To the sin I need to grieve and ask forgiveness for.

3.  I’m trying to enter into the pain of friends and family who are experiencing loss and death right now.  These are the people I want to be praying for, listening to, sitting with, and writing to this week.

4.  And I’m trying to (ever so inadequately) walk this week of loss with Jesus, through a couple favorite devotionals that simply invite me into Scripture, lectio-like.  No commentary.

These are just my feeble attempts to do Easter with Jesus.  But the good news is, even if I fail at all of them, even if I still don’t really “get” it, Jesus will still rise on Sunday and each time I mess up I can be forgiven and He’ll say, “Let’s start again.”

Please share with us…what are you doing to prepare for Easter?

Hunting Caterpillars

March 31, 2012 /

Hunting caterpillars with my daughters – Heather H.                                                            Last ride on the Ferris Wheel – Mary Jo S.                                                                                   A goodnight text – Katie M.                                                                                                         Swan Lake performed by a 7 year old in a tutu. Nanisa S.                                                 Stomping through puddles – Dana F.

I always love reading the answers to “What do you stay awake for?” at Caribou.  They move me and remind me of how important it is to stop.  And pay attention.  And be present to the wonder that’s right in front of me.

Like a snuggle with my girls when they were toddlers and nothing else could possibly be more important…not the news of Clinton’s affair, or the war in the Gulf, or the latest development between Ross and Rachel on Friends.

The distractions are different now, but they’re still there…the things that threaten to keep me from missing my real life.  And missing the wonder of God’s good gifts.

Now my babies are grown and I come back to the town where we grew up together.  Where we delighted in walks around the wetlands and seeing the baby goslings each spring, and watching them turn into awkward ugly teenager geese.

Where we measured and marked the girls’ height each year on a wall in the basement and we marveled at all the other things that couldn’t be measured, like hope and character, and faith.

A friend of mine says, “I want to be counted among those easily impressed.”  I agree.  I want to be awake to wonder and live a life marked with gratitude.

So, today, I guess I’m thinking about turning off, well, everything…and paying attention to the sun on my face, and giving gentle and strong hugs and really seeing and being thankful for the dewy green shoots pushing through the winter earth,  and making sure those I love know it.

Consider getting on your knees tonight and reviewing your day with thanksgiving.  And then maybe send someone a good-night text. 🙂

What wonders are you noticing?  What are you grateful for today?

What are the best RAOK’s…really?

March 30, 2012 /

On Valentine’s Day I heard something on the radio in the morning.  It was charming…a random act of kindness if you will.  A barbershop quartet, dressed in white tuxes was going around serenading random women for Valentine’s Day.  The woman behind the counter at McDonalds.  The receptionist at a Dr.’s office…Random acts of kindness.

Then recently I heard about a new phenomenon called “cash mob”.  The idea is that 100 people get together and agree to go to a certain mom and pop type store or restaurant and spend at least $20 each to help them out in this bad economy.  Cool idea, huh?

It made me think about the power of a time when a group of us set out to try to bless people in big and small ways throughout the day.  We left coins in the machines at a laundromat.  We handed out bottles of water at a bus station.  We paid for the meal of the person behind us in the drive-through and left calling cards that said “You look great today :)”.

I’ve been trying to be aware of ways that I can offer random acts of kindness.  But then I heard someone the other day who said “God is a going to and dwelling with God.”  And it brought me up short.  Because it’s true.  Jesus left His cushy home in heaven to come and be with us in our mess.  Emmanuel.  And yes, He addressed the mess, but first He was with us.

Maybe there are times when my “being with” is more meaningful than my “doing for”.  Maybe the random act of kindness I can do today is to slow down and look into the eyes of the checkout girl at Target and ask the name of the waitress who serves me, and stop to ask my neighbor how her daughter is doing, and sit and listen to a friend’s story.

What about you?  In what ways might you practice “random acts of kindness”?

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