Author: lauracrosby (Page 18 of 45)

A God of Cat and Mouse Games?

This week I was able to return to a place that is holy for me.  A place where God met me in a powerful way.  It’s a dock by a lake where our friends live in Wisconsin.

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The dock is a perfect place to spend some time reading in the early morning.  One of the things I love to do as I read my Bible is to date different promises or commands that have been meaningful to me, connecting with specific circumstances in my life. It’s such an encouragement when I see how personal and alive God’s word is to me – even if it’s convicting.

Many verses are dated with the name of one of our daughters as I have prayed the verses for them. Next to Psalm 16:8 is 10/9/09 and “Katy -job”.

Other verses (like Is. 42:13 and Is. 43:18,19) have dates with notes about prayers for guidance.

Psalm 9:9 says, “The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” Next to it is written “Haiti”.

One of the most meaningful and important notations in my Bible is next to Matthew 7: 9-11. I wrote, “Beré’s dock, August 15, 2004.”

I had been going through a very difficult time, praying for direction and every time I thought a door was being open for me and I started to walk through, it was slammed in my face. August 15th of that year we were staying with our dear friends and I was sitting out on their dock early one morning, pouring my heart out to God.

I said, “It feels like you’re playing a game of cat-and-mouse with me and I don’t understand!!! Help!”

After I prayed, I was still and in the stillness God brought to mind a verse that I vaguely remembered – something like “If a son asks his father for bread, with he give him a stone? No! And how much more does your heavenly father want to give you?” I checked for the reference in my concordance and looked up the verses in Matthew 7, thankful for the personal reassurance from God, but He wasn’t done with me yet.

At the time I was also making a practice of reading in the Message paraphrase so I looked up Matthew 7:9-11 there. And this is what it says,

“Ask for what you need. This isn’t a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we’re in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust?… So don’t you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?”

The exact phrase I had used in my rant to God, He used in His word to me.

Hebrews 4:12 says God’s Word is living and active. But holy buckets!

Now although I see how God speaks personally to me through his Word daily, this dramatic experience isn’t a common occurrence.  Rather it was a gracious gift from God who saw his daughter desperate for encouragement.

Like post-it note reminders, the dates and names in my Bible are much needed records of His faithfulness over years of my stumbling along, falling down, and getting back up, forgiven and accompanied every step of the way by a patient, personal God.

What are some small, or dramatic ways God has reassured you of His presence?

On Being Found

We’re celebrating our 30th anniversary today which brought to mind this post from last year.  For those of you newer to this blog, my hope is that it is encouraging to you today.

This is a story about me.  But it’s also about you.  Whether you’re married or single, read on.

Today is our 29th wedding anniversary.  And 28 years ago today was a bad day.

Our one year anniversary.

We were with family and friends at a cabin, high on a pine-filled shore overlooking a pristine lake in northern Wisconsin.

Cannon balls into the icy cold crystal blue.  Double tubing wars bumping  over the waves and plumpy only-in-the-summertime-at-the-cabin clouds overhead.  It seemed like a good day.

And it was.

Until husband John took his wedding ring off to ski and put it on the pier, asking our friend to watch it.

You know what’s coming next, don’t you?  (And by the way, WHO takes their wedding ring off to ski???)

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Summer is for Reading?

It seems like when summer dances in everyone comes out with lists of “summer reads” like you’re going to have all this amazing leisure time at the lake and your daily responsibilities (or your kids) will magically disappear.  Well, that hasn’t exactly been my reality.  And add to that the fact that I’m a slow reader who doesn’t retain much and you’ve got a profile of my reading world.

However, I have read a few books over the past two months, and I’d love some suggestions from you too!  Here are mine.

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5 Things I’m Learning Around my Scarred Table

Tuesday we had a large group of people over for a BBQ in our backyard.  It was truly the perfect Minnesota summer evening.  Dry, 78 degrees, miraculously mosquito-free.  (for a minute I looked around thinking Jesus must be coming back).

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It was a delightful evening of good conversation and laughter, but it’s not like everything was perfect.  John burned most of the brats and 7 (yes 7!) people cancelled within an hour and a half of our start time.

It’s not like everything is always coordinated.  I’ve been known to use a hodgepodge of leftover holiday paper napkins.  Other times we’ve planned for outside but at the last minute rain has blown in or it’s been so hot and muggy we’ve had to frantically un-set and re-set for Plan B, everyone preferring to crowd in our small, but dryer, cooler house.  And I don’t always  usually handle this well.  Often I’m just a stressed out hot mess about change and flexibility.

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What Does “Witnessing” Look Like?

Monday I was out mowing the lawn on the steep hill in front of our house.  Back and forth under and around the trees, sweating.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw two pairs of women with young girls, Bibles in hand, making their way down our street, stopping at each house.  Jehovah’s Witnesses.  With invitations.

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I thought, “Ugh!  They have no relationship with me and they’re going to try to convert me.  I’m a challenge to them.  A project.  A name to add to their list.” (Christians would never do that! :))

My first inclination was to keep my head down and keep mowing, hoping that they’d take the hint and pass me by.  But then that pesky Holy Spirit reminded me of what I had been reading.  How I had been impressed by Phillip’s example of just asking a question of the Ethiopian who didn’t know Jesus (Acts 8) and how Jesus had modeled asking the question “What do you want me to do for you?” (Mark 10)

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Cheering it Forward

I’ve been really surprised at how nice people are to me when I run.  Maybe it’s just because I have such a tragic, painful, “I-want-to-die” expression on my face that they can’t help but feel sorry and offer encouragement.

Often it’s as I slog to the top of a hill that a stranger on bike will yell “Way to go!”, or someone walking a dog will clap or give a thumbs up.  It always takes me off-guard.  It honestly gives me a tiny kick of extra energy.  Like “Oh!  Maybe I really can keep going.”

But this morning was different.  As I ran past a woman who looked a little familiar, she clearly recognized me and knew my story.  She knew my half-marathon goal that’s way too big for me.  She gave me a huge smile and a big thumbs up and yelled “You can do it, Laura!”

I was grateful and encouraged, but I was also moved to tears.

Because it hit me like Roadrunner

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(not the fast part, the stopping part).

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Fear and Control

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“Show me a controlling person and I’ll show you a person who is secretly afraid.” Donald Miller

What do you think?  Is that all of us?

Who doesn’t want to be in control?  If pressed, most of us are sure we have a pretty good plan for the universe, right?

I see this most clearly in my relationship with my adult daughters.  When you’re the parent of little kids you exert control for their safety and training.

But, dang if they don’t grow up and start actually having their own opinions and making their own BIG life choices!  Seemingly all of a sudden you’re totally out of control and, (Gasp!), what if their choices reflect badly on you?  Or make your life more difficult?  Or take them down a path you know will be painful?

I find my fists clenched, feel a vague undercurrent of anxiety, and my mind turns to ways to manipulate coerce  gently offer wise counsel.

When we feel that emotion of fear…anxiety…sadness…maybe we need to ask ourselves some questions.

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Can you Hear Him Now, and Does it Matter?

It’s summer, the glorious Minnesota summer of silver lakes with brightly colored sailboats leaning into the wind, and cheery cardinals in my back yard, and fifty shades of green, growing as enthusiastically as possible before the all-too short season ends.

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The other day I’m running.  And sweating.  A lot.  And thinking I am going to die (as usual). But I’m also on pace to go farther than I ever have.

I am scuffling around the east side of Lake of the Isles when I see a middle-aged woman sitting on a park bench.  She’s rubbing her eyes, looking like she might be crying.

IMG_2413Since I run at the pace of a turtle I have time to have a little conversation with God before I am too far gone.

God whisper: Maybe you should stop and ask if she’s ok.

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Notice What You Notice

This is Maggie, our delightful, 25 year old who just got married and is preparing to move from D.C. cross-country with her husband to start grad school at Berkeley.  

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One of her mentors, Brooke Toftoy, introduced our church to Holy Yoga which is “experiential worship created to deepen people’s connection to Christ.”  Maggie loves Yoga, so the morning before her wedding she asked Brooke to lead the bridesmaids in this practice.  Although there’s only “regular” yoga in D.C she still loves it. I asked Maggie to guest post today, because although I may be biased, I think she’s amazing!

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One of my favorite yoga instructors invites us into an interesting practice.  Every so often, throughout the class, he will invite us into a resting position and ask us to “return to your breath, be still and notice.  Notice what you notice.”

“Notice what you notice,” he says.  So I lay there and I notice.  First I notice that the “resting pose” that he has instructed us to find is awfully pretzely and I want to have a few words with whoever dubbed it a “resting pose.”  I notice how sweaty I am.  I notice that it’s hot day and that in 24 minutes when class is over, it would be a good time for some froyo (I’ve obviously earned it, what with the sweat and the pretzel-y-ness.)

When I’m done mentally complaining, I start the practice of really noticing.  I notice that I feel pretty calm.  I notice that I’m really improving in that one difficult pose, and that makes me feel strong and accomplished.  I notice that this is the one quiet spot in my day and I soak it in.

Outside of yoga class, in regular old life,  I sometimes like to remind myself to notice what I notice.  I like being observant and tuning in.

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Do You Have FOMO?

FOMO.  I just heard about this for the first time Wednesday morning on the Today show.  It’s an acronym that stands for the fear of missing out.  According to a new study, 56% of social media users have it.

FOMO is “a fear of one’s social standing or how one is perceived amongst peers, and a need to constantly know what is happening and what others are doing,” according to Elizabeth Lombardo, a clinical psychologist in NYC.

The study says, “The problem for people with a high level of FOMO is they may become so involved in seeing what their friends are doing and they are not, they often ignore what they are actually enjoying themselves.”

FOMO can cause anxiety, stress and, in more extreme cases, even depression…” she says.

  • Ever surreptitiously check your phone under the table’s edge in a meeting?
  • Perhaps you’ve walked into a lamp pole while checking Facebook on your phone? (This may, or may not have happened to me)
  • Do you check Twitter first thing in the morning before brushing your teeth?
  • Are you ever more present to Instagram than you are to your kids?
  • Have you been known to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s because you’re depressed by the wedding, vacation, or concert pictures someone posted?

What if our obsession with the lives of others, is causing us to miss our own life?

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