Author: lauracrosby (Page 16 of 45)

Three Things You Can do When You’re in Transition

September 25, 2013 /

photo-53Twenty-seven years ago my husband John and I moved from our home and families in the Chicago area to serve at a church in Washington D.C.  It was a huge change for us.  John was required to attend a seminar on transitions and while he was there he had to take an assessment that assigned points to the the different changes in your life.

POINTS???!  We love points!  We’re a tad competitive :).

For example, we were moving away from family for the first time, expecting a new baby (I was 8 months pregnant when we moved), buying our first house, starting a new job in a new church culture.  Each of these got points assigned to them indicating the amount of pressure in our life.

John came home and said, “Honey, I have good news and bad news.  The good news is, we WON!   We had more points than anyone there!  The bad news is they said we should have been in counseling 50 points ago!” Continue reading

Why are You Doing the Hard Thing?

September 23, 2013 /

33 days from today is the Half-Marathon.  13.1 miles.  It’s hard thing.  But everyone reading this is doing a hard thing.  Or a lot of hard things.

This was the text I sent to Katy and Maggie the other day after I ran.  It is similar to many other texts I’ve sent over the past six months.

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I questioned myself once again, “WHY the heck am I doing this?”

Just like you may ask yourself,

“Why did I commit to lead this small group?

Why do I keep tutoring this under-resourced kid who doesn’t seem to care?

Why should I stay in this hard marriage?

Why did I move here?

Why am I serving on this board?

Why did I start this business?…”

“Why did I choose to do this hard thing?” Continue reading

Fearless Leaps and Little Steps

September 20, 2013 /

It’s Fearless Friday and we have a guest post.  I’m excited to let you hear from my intrepid, amazingly mature, thoughtful and articulate friend, Mackenzie Dykstra!  She’s a senior at Edina High School and is already shaking up her part of the world.  Enjoy!
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The word fearlessness has the connotation of something extraordinary; where one battles impossible tasks with incredible courage and bravery.  When I think of fearlessness I see a soldier on the front lines, or a young child fighting against cancer that’s wracking her body. I see people that have great challenges to overcome and that are brilliant through their darkest moments. In this past year I have realized that fearlessness is represented by all those things but it can also be the smaller acts that are done in the shadows that require as much courage and delight God just the same.

To be fearless is to take a blind leap of faith. Continue reading

Cussing for Jesus?

September 18, 2013 /

This is a post that seemed to connect with a lot of you a year and a half ago.  There are many new readers so I thought I’d post it again.  I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

I’m really nervous about posting this.  I’m afraid it may sound judgmental and may make people feel really cranky.  Others may be offended.  And it may not even be a relevant post to those of you reading this.

I read an article in USA Today last year that addresses something I’ve been pondering for awhile.  It talks about the trend in publishing (books, music, plays) to use profanity in the title.  The article says, “What used to be profane is becoming prevalent – and very profitable.”  Turns out that naming something “S— My Dad Says” makes the book sell more.  Go figure.

Not so surprising in secular culture I guess, but what about Christians?  It seems to be the badge of validity with faith bloggers lately too.  There’s a pastor who’s known for using crude language in his sermons.  Is this about shock value?  Authenticity?  Prophetic edge? Or something else? Continue reading

Baggy Overalls, Hot Mamas, and Your True Self

September 16, 2013 /

Think of your most comfy, go-to-on-bad-days piece of clothing.

You know what I mean…the super soft snuggly sweatshirt with paint stains from when you were fixing up your first house.  Or the holey pair of jeans from 1998 that make you think of friends.  And watching Friends.

You like to call it “classic”.

For me that piece of clothing is a tad more embarrassing than classic.  A little more obviously out of style.  It’s a pair of baggy, khaki capri overalls that are just sooooo comfortable.  I usually reserve them for wearing at the lake, or on days when I’m not going to see anyone (or at least anyone I know).

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But a few Wednesdays ago was a bit of a bad day.  I did a six mile run which started off with a bite in the butt by a dog who chased me (I know!  How embarrassing is that?!), and ended with me positive I was going to die and will never be able to finish this race or get water to thirsty kids in Zambia.  Total fail.

So I took a shower and put on my baggy Khaki overall capris.  The only other thing I had the rest of the day where I would see people I knew was a missions meeting at the home of my friends, Mike and Megan.  I debated changing, but I thought, “No, it’s safe.  Although they always look totally hip and cool and pulled together even in their exercise clothes, I think they’re ok with my come-as-I-am self. Not my fancy-pants, polished, achieving clean water with a half-marathon, trying-to-be-good-self. Continue reading

Fear, Seasons, and Your Legacy

September 13, 2013 /

It’s Fearless Friday, and I’m so excited to introduce another guest writer to you!  John and I have had the privilege of walking alongside Kari and Matt Norman for several (10??) years now.  They are a remarkable young couple who lead authentic, examined lives of faith in Jesus.  You’ll see that from Kari’s words today!

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Last Wednesday my husband and I watched our twin boys climb up the school bus stairs, smile and wave through the window, and head off for their first day of kindergarten.  It was a marking moment, and one I’d envisioned in my mind’s eye many times.

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I had been holding it together so well!  Until the day before… when despite best efforts, I cried at the parent teacher conference when asked if this was my first child entering kindergarten.  I said, “Yes, my first, and my second.”  Pause.  “And my last, all at once.”  Cue the tears.  The teacher reached across the table, held my hand, gave me a look that conveyed genuine care, as well as a nod that seemed to say, “You can hold it together.  Really, you can!  Um, please…  can you?”

She didn’t know that I’d had six miscarriages along the way.  Continue reading

When a “Good” Fight Goes “Bad”

September 11, 2013 /

The other day I wrote about “good” fights.  The times when somehow, against all odds, and all our emotion, and in spite of our bent towards holding grudges, with God’s help, we address conflict and come out on the other side…Maybe more whole.  More compassionate.  With a better understanding of grace.  With a little clearer picture of redemption.

I outlined some steps that have been helpful to me, but…”1,2,3 steps” are always dangerous.  I really wish we lived in a “1,2,3 voila!” world, but we don’t.

What about when a “good fight” goes bad?  

Many years ago when I was first learning about what Jesus would ask of me regarding conflict I had a situation with a neighbor friend involving our kids.  I really, truly felt I had gone through each of the steps to handle our disagreement in a healthy way.

I prayed like crazy!  I examined my heart and thought I owned my part!  I was calm for Pete’s sake!!    I was warmly assertive and humble, darn it!

We sat at my kitchen table and you know how she responded? Continue reading

Good Fights

September 9, 2013 /

I think I had a pretty good fight recently.  Not great, but it was progress.  Let me backtrack.

Someone did something that made me, well… furious!

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I grew up in a home where there was very little conflict, and when there was, we ignored it.

You know, like a kid who thinks if he closes his eyes no one will see him.  So conflict’s not really been my thing.  It’s had to be a growing edge for me as an adult.

And I’ve done it wrong. A. Lot.

When someone said something thoughtless, or did something mean, or (gasp!) was controlling or dismissive or disagreed with me…

I’ve done the angry email thing and the passive-aggressive thing, and the withdraw and punish thing…

See, I told you I was bad at this!

But the other day, once I settled down, I experienced a tiny (and I mean tiny) victory.  Continue reading

Fearless Friday

September 6, 2013 /

It’s Fearless Friday and I’m thrilled to share a post with you from my favorite son-in-law who (as you’ll see) is wise and insightful and such a good writer!  Enjoy!

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I remember life before fear sank in, but much like the story of Adam and Eve, the blissful beginning eventually falls apart.

The memories of the pre-fear life are like old home movies in my mind. If you can picture the opening reel from The Wonder Years or a scene from The Sandlot, it looks a lot like that. After the fear sets in, however, things begin to look much like I imagine they did in Eden that day: mankind full of shame and confusion, running around naked and frantic, grasping for the words that would make everything right again.

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As a child, there’s not a whole lot to be afraid of. Like Benny, Smalls, Squints, and the gang, you can roam and explore and get in to trouble without much real consequence. You have an almost unlimited freedom underwritten by understanding adults who are giving you room to grow.

Then one day – and it happens to all of us – you wake up and realize the choices you make really do matter. Almost overnight, you’re standing there as a grown-up holding the bitten fruit of your decisions and reckoning with the consequences of your actions. As you look at yourself in the mirror, you start to realize that this whole growing up thing is going to take a lot more effort than you thought.

You might even stand there naked and ashamed, afraid of where you go next. Continue reading

First Days

September 4, 2013 /

Today (Tuesday) is the first day of school in my neighborhood.  The leaves are sounding a little different – a little drier as the breeze ruffles through, and already they’re giving up their valiant effort to hang on.  The green of summer is surrendering to autumnal shades.

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Change.  Sometimes we fight it.  Sometimes we embrace it, like these two little girls ready for school.

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As I jogged past the kids and parents gathered on each street corner, I paused to wave and yell “Happy first day of school!”

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I thought back to all our first days as a family.  Sure, the marking first days of school when we had “adopted” family members, Sue and Heather over for dinner (always homemade chicken pot pie) to hear a recap of every high and low, every “he said, she said” of K and M’s six hours at school.  But there have also been first days of new jobs, first days of marriage, first days of grad school, first days in a new home or apartment for each of us.  New seasons.

And each first day means there’s been a last day.  A last day of summer.  A last day of being single.  The last day in a familiar city that’s been home.

As I jogged and reflected, I was reminded of two things.

Continue reading

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