Author: Laura Crosby (Page 8 of 54)

The Power of Knowing You’re Seen

February 12, 2020 /

My car slides down the steep driveway through two inches of fresh snow as I back onto the street. Early morning darkness is the only thing that matches my surroundings of yesterday in Lucerne.

We’re home in Minneapolis for one day. We’ve missed a whole season. Christmas and New Years have come and gone without us. Valentines Day will pass before we’re back too.

The few houses with twinkle lights still shining make me both happy and sad. The carols have been sung, the candles have been lit and familiar Bible passages read. The hugs and laughter and catching up at parties in homes bright and welcoming have all happened without us.

I’m out of sync. Out of place. Our community has gone on without us. Has there been any sense of a hole left where we were?

I’m reminded this is not our “true” home. Will there be a kingdom shaped hole on earth when we die?

We’re human, so we all long to matter to someone, to be missed.

Today, maybe you need to be reminded of how “seen” you are by the God of the universe and, how much you matter. 

 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
    I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. Psalm 32:8
 “You are the God who sees me,” Genesis 16:13
But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love. Psalm 34:18
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:7
You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
 Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me...
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:1-5,16

Maybe someone else needs to know they matter too. Send a text or note? If you haven’t signed up to get my freebie that has prompts for each month and reflections, called “A Year of Grace Notes” you can still get it by clicking here!

What Does the Kingdom of God Look Like in Your Life?

February 2, 2020 /

I’m walking the narrow cobblestone streets of Lucerne on another gray winter morning morning. As I head towards coffee and the bridges that cross the Reuss river in the old town I’m listening to Pray as You Go, a simple devotional app that reads a passage of Scripture from the lectionary twice, with pauses and a couple of questions for reflection.

The passage that comes through my ear buds this morning is Mark 4:26-34 about how the Kingdom of God is like seed scattered on the ground, and more specifically like a tiny mustard seed.

Jesus said, “How can I describe the Kingdom of God? What story should I use to illustrate it?  It is like a mustard seed planted in the ground. It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of all garden plants…”

Mark 4:30-32

I’m crossing the foot bridge now as soothing British voice says, “Both stories talk about the astonishing process of growth. What do you think this ‘Kingdom of God’ is?”

On the bridge is a scraggly old man I often see who approaches me saying something in German. I assume he’s homeless and asking for a handout, but it’s possible he’s selling insurance.

I mumble “Kein Deutsch” (no German) and hurry by, leaving the man alone as I listen to my lesson about JESUS.

I continue to reflect about how the Kingdom of God is wherever His love and His will prevail. I think about how this passage is a reminder that even tiny acts of love advance the kingdom in boardrooms and bodegas, hospice rooms and high school gyms, on Capitol Hill and in car pools.

Maybe scattering kingdom seed looks like asking questions rather than judging an acquaintance today. Maybe it looks like bringing a pot of soup to a new mom, or holding door open, or writing a note to an elected official, or speaking words of affirmation.

“Yep”, I think, figuratively giving Him a thumbs up. “Good reminder, Lord!”

And then as I step off the bridge, leaving the man behind, shame hits me like a wrecking ball. I realize I’m the priest who scurried past the beaten up man on the road to Jericho in “the Good Samaritan”.

I’m contrite and embarrassed, but I’m also not sure what to do.

“Lord. Please forgive me! But I don’t speak German! I don’t know what he wants! He may want to grab me or my purse. He may be mentally unstable. There’s no one else around if I need help.”

I picture Jesus on the bridge with this man, lingering with him.

I head to the bakery, buy a chocolate croissant, and bring it back. I look at this man, made in the image of Jesus as I offer what I have, and say one of my few German phrases:

“Einen schönen Tag Noch.”

Have a good day.

And I pray, “Lord help me to scatter kingdom seed today.”

Soul Food Across Time Zones

January 30, 2020 /

I do NOT want to sound like a whiny baby. I am acutely aware of our tremendous blessings as we continue this adventure of cross-cultural ministry in Switzerland!

But I also need to be honest. It’s hard keeping up with a bunch of different communities and ministry commitments in different countries at the same time. There are a lot of balls in the air right now, and this one – the blog – is one that’s easiest to drop. Sorry I’ve been inconsistent!

I tried to bake for the first time last week and it was a total disaster! There’s no mixer in the kitchen where we’re staying, but there is an immersion blender (go figure). So I tried to use it, and butter and sugar flew everywhere!

Plus they don’t sell vanilla here and I accidentally used baking SODA instead of baking POWDER (darn German language!) #fail.

However, I did try this new SUPER easy recipe for Coconut Braised Chicken with Sweet Potatoes that was a winner, fusing Thai and Indian flavors. (note I’m keeping with the international theme). One note – I used all coconut milk with no broth after reading the comments.

We continue to be stretched and enriched in this season, learning about communication, conflict, unique relational challenges, and theological differences across cultures.

On Monday and Tuesday I had the joy of visiting a friend in the mountains and making a new friend from China. What a tremendous blessing it is to learn from people of other countries and cultures!

Our conversation ranged from the Coronavirus to how to make dumplings to why most Asians don’t like cheese and why they take pictures of pigeons.

We talked about our respective faith traditions, and the Swiss art of paper-cutting, and the three types of Gruyere cheese.

We discussed the differences between those born in China vs. Hong Kong, the danger of lumping all Asians into one group, and the hard dividing line between being a “come here” and a “born here” in Switzerland.

And speaking of the Coronavirus, this post just wrecked me (Please watch the video – click on link).


This world is a brutally hard & beautifully holy place.
View this post on Instagram

Another new thing for me…For the first time ever I’ve learned of the term “Third Culture Kids” and the research that has been done about this group.

My friend, Katie Bachelor, who has raised her kids in Israel, and now Jordan, posted this on Instagram.

Lastly, a few posts from Instagram to lift your spirits or make you smile…

Your turn! What’s going on with you? Talk to me!

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

The Benefit of Walking Awake

January 27, 2020 /

I walk on medieval cobblestones through the pre-dawn fog that is more reminiscent of London than Lucerne where we are based temporarily. The mountains that ring the city are completely hidden.

Coffee is calling my name as I head towards bridges across the Reuss river. I pass one of my favorite ancient buildings that I have discovered was a brothel in “days of yore.” I take time to pray for all those trapped in sex slavery and our friends who are working tirelessly to free them.

Heavenly Father, bring light to dark places of shame and rejection. May those who are trapped know they are beloved by you. You are the God who sees them and will act on their behalf. “A bruised reed you will not break and a smoldering wick you will not snuff out. In faithfulness You will bring justice.” Lord, for those working on their behalf, “Strengthen the feeble hands, and steady the knees that give way.”

The church bells of the city start to echo back and forth across the water and I pause to lift up all those we know in ministry around the world – worshipping in rented school gyms, and retrofitted reclaimed sanctuaries in Great Britain, with holy hands raised in African mud huts and home churches everywhere.

Holy Spirit anoint and empower them, give them insight, patience, wisdom and compassion. Help them to listen to Your voice above all. Give them soft hearts and thick skin

The early bike “rush hour” has begun …

…and I look for the father and son who pass me every day – Dad on a bike, son on a scooter, side by side. Dad protects, and gives his son a push every once in awhile to keep them together. It makes me think of the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

Lord, strengthen our families. Give fathers and mothers grace, energy, and patience sufficient for today. May we have hearts wholly devoted to you. Guard us from temptation and give us discernment as we interact with a culture that often is at odds with the values you would have us live by. May you bless our children, young or old, with unmistakeable glimpses of Your faithfulness and great love for them today.

I wish I could tell you I do this every morning. I don’t!

I get distracted and make “to-do” lists in my head (or have imaginary conversations where I tell off the company that won’t refund me for the skin care cream I sent back).

I share this one morning glimpse in the hopes that maybe we can encourage each other to pay attention to the small promptings of God through our everyday life.

Like believers over the centuries have “prayed the hours”, how might we weave prayer into the ordinary moments of our days? What are the natural sights, sounds, or smells that might be triggers to draw us to the Lord?

I’ve become convinced that the major challenge of spiritual formation is paying attention…walking awake to the movement of God and responding.

What if we let the sight of a homeless man, or the cry of a baby, or the sound of an ambulance siren, or the beauty of a sunrise, draw us to God instead of being “b roll” that we don’t notice?

What’s your experience been? What would you add?

How to Live in the Tension of Relationships that are…Complicated, Part 2

January 20, 2020 /

The other day I posted some thoughts about complicated relationships and the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Still, there are hard decisions to navigate when there is conflict among friends or family. How do we commit to both grace and truth?

If your 7 year old daughter scores two goals and plays a great game of soccer, but kicks someone on the opposing team while they’re down and walks away, is it right to only say “Way to go! You were awesome! You are such a great soccer player!”?

Is it a blessing to only affirm without also naming the pain caused to the opposing player? Obviously not, but other situations aren’t as clear. It’s…complicated, right?

Truth without grace isn’t really true. Rather, it is aggression disguised as discernment.
And grace without truth isn’t really gracious. Rather, it is codependency disguised as love.

Scott Sauls

This is the hard balance we try to navigate.

Photo by Leio McLaren (@leiomclaren) on Unsplash

Some of us lean towards grace, but are afraid of speaking truth. We hate the discomfort. We want people to like us.

Others lean towards truth telling. We are justice oriented, committed to right and wrong. We feel it’s most important not to let an offense slide.

How do we live like Jesus in these complicated relationships?

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

John 1:14

You know the TSA motto? “If you see something, say something.”  Maybe it applies to relationships too…with a caveat.

Regardless of how you feel, if you see something positive in the other –  anything “excellent or praiseworthy” call it out! Affirm! Cheer! Celebrate!

But… If you see/feel something negative or wounding? That’s trickier.

Maybe say something, but first sit with it in the presence of God. Ask yourself:

  1. Why do I feel offended? Is this about me and some wound from my past, or is this about them?
  2. What is my part in this offense? Owning that is part of the “say something” too.
  3. If I talk to the other about this, is my motive one of blessing and bringing life (even if it is hard or uncomfortable), or do I just want to make myself feel better by telling them what a mean person they are?

What matters more to us—that we successfully put others in their place, or that we are known to love well? God have mercy on us if we do not love well because all that matters to us is being right and winning arguments.

scot sauls

4. Will this person be able to “hear” truth from me (as opposed to someone else), right now, and receive it in a way that is helpful? My spiritual director pointed out that timing is important. Look at Jesus’ words:

“I still have many things to tell you, but you can’t handle them now.”

John 16:12

Ohmygosh I have gotten this wrong sooooo many times!  Know that as I post this, I’m stumbling along, asking Jesus to grow me in this area.

A friend of ours recently said, “You can say anything as long as you say it at the right time and in the right key.” Paul said it like this:

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Colossians 4:6

What about you? You KNOW I’d love to hear from you! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the site where you can post a comment. If it’s your first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up right away! And if you’re interested in some smaller doses of joy and community connection, join me over on Instagram. (You can turn on “notifications” in the upper right-hand corner if you want to know when there is a post.)

How To Live in the Tension of Relationships that are…Complicated, Part 1

January 13, 2020 /

I grew up in a classic TV “Leave it to Beaver” type home. No, my mom didn’t wear pearls while vacuuming, but life was predictable. You were kind to people and they were kind to you. You made mistakes, but you owned them, asked forgiveness, and it was given.

Life was simple. Safe. We were far from perfect (ahem), but I wasn’t aware of any drama growing up. My parents didn’t gossip, and they didn’t “ice” people out when there was conflict.

Boy did I get a wake-up call in adulthood! Relationships can be…complicated, right?

Someone criticizes us, or hurts our feelings…to our face, or worse, behind our back.

Several years ago, my husband John and I sat with a friend and colleague as he spewed criticism with such intensity and vitriol that it felt physical, like a bucket of bitterness was being dumped on our heads. John listened long and then said, “You’re right. We may not agree on everything, but here are two places where I think I made mistakes.” He proceeded to name them specifically.

After that, I waited for our friend to respond with some recognition of the possibility that perhaps his perspective was limited, or he also might be fallible. I hoped at least, for a recommitment to partnership in ministry, or acknowledgment of God’s redemptive power, but it never came.

Hard stuff to swallow. My journals reflect how much I have wrestled with what, if anything, to do in response.

Maybe you’ve been in a similar situation. What do you do?

It seems we often move to one of two extremes when someone offends us.

  1. We lob “truth” grenades – hurling an explosive angry tirade towards the other (often in an email or even on social media), and then retreating to our bunker.

Or…

2. We stuff our resentment in the guise of “grace”, paste on a smile, and never address it.

Both may feel safe, but really? Maybe we’re just cowards either way.

In Scripture we’re told:

“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing….” 1 Peter 3:9

But what does that look like in real life?

Usually in complicated relationships there’s plenty of blame to go around. We tend to magnify the ways we feel mistreated and minimize our own responsibility. I know I do!

Instead, we need to both ask for forgiveness, and offer forgiveness where needed.

Forgiveness is a way of blessing the other. Forgiveness says ” I want God’s best for you regardless of what you’ve done to me.”

In a Psychology Today article, Ryan Howes writes:

…reconciliation is an interpersonal process where you dialogue with the offender about what happened, exchange stories, express the hurt, listen for the remorse, and begin to reestablish trust. It’s a much more complicated, involved process that includes, but moves beyond forgiveness. Forgiveness is solo, reconciliation is a joint venture.

Ryan howes

Forgiveness is always possible, and so is redemption, but reconciliation is not. We are called to forgive no matter what, but if the other person is not willing to engage or own their part, you may not be able to reconcile the relationship. Even without reconciliation God can always, always redeem the pain though, if we look to Him to teach us through it.

What does it look like to choose blessing, to be “for” the other person whether they have been kind to you, or not?

Maybe, beyond forgiveness, it means praying for the other as authentically as you can.

Lord, I pray that You would pour out your love and mercy on friends who have hurt us. Help me to see the pain that may be motivating their words and actions. Help me to extend grace to them as You do to me.

What have you learned about navigating conflict? I’ll post more on this next week, but in the meantime, I’d love to hear from you! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the site where you can post a comment. If it’s your first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up right away! And if you’re interested in some smaller doses of joy and community, join me over on Instagram. (You can turn on “notifications” in the upper right-hand corner if you want to know when there is a post.)

Soul Food For a New Decade

January 11, 2020 /

Peace. Understanding. Lack of division. 2019 was a rough year in these areas. Or did it just seem worse than usual?

Monday I wrote about building bridges with people different from us. Next week I’ll be posting more on complicated relationships, but until then, our friend Matt Norman wrote such a helpful article on The Number One Principle in Relationships and Influence. Check it out!

Two well-written, engaging books I read over the holidays?

Winter Solstice by Rosamund Pilcher, about a variety of people whose lives intersect one Christmas at an old house in snowy northern Scotland. Loved it!

And Shepherds Abiding by Jan Karon. I love the Mitford books with all the characters – quirky, gentle, kind, hopeful. I had read this, but rereading it at Christmas was perfect.

Trying to get organized? Here’s a good article I read: Got a New Planner? Here are 7 Things to Write in it Now

And lastly some grins and inspiration from Instagram.

I want to stay here! Who’s with me?

As always I’d love to hear from you in the comments! Have a great weekend!

Two Important Questions to Ask of People Different From Us

January 6, 2020 /

Some things are just tough.

Like figuring out why people are fascinated with the Kardashians, or how to fold fitted sheets, or what makes some people able to eat a kabillion Trader Joe’s dark chocolate covered almonds with sea salt and not gain a pound.

Or, you know…how to achieve peace between all the people in all the places.

When it comes to the Middle East I keep wanting to say, “Lord I’m a bear of Very Little Brain” like Winnie the Pooh.

I have a long way to go, but God is patient and often a theme gradually emerges.

The truest thing I’m learning about peace is that keeping people at a distance makes it easy to demonize them.

But coming close topples the walls of misunderstanding.

This morning God reinforced this as I re-read the story of when God comes close to Hagar.

Sarah, wife of Abraham, mistreated Hagar, the surrogate “wife” who runs away into the desert, (Sounds like “Real Wives of the Middle East”, right?)

Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar each have a story.  Each are seen and loved by God. But they have trouble seeing and loving each other.

In the desert and in her pain, God meets Hagar and models something I’m thinking I can learn from (even with my little bear brain).

Even though Abraham and Sarah only call Hagar “servant”, God calls her by name.

He sees her!  (16:13)

And He asks her two questions:

Where have you come from?

and

Where are you going?

Traveling in the Middle East I’ve learned that everyone has a story of injustices that have happened in the past, and everyone is trying to hold on to their hopes for a future.

As we try to draw close and understand those who are different from us, whether it’s Israeli’s and Palestinians or Republicans and Democrats, gay and straight, I wonder if learning someone’s name, looking them in the eye and asking them questions like these is a place to start…

Who might you ask today:  Where have you come from?  Where do you want to go?

 

Soul Food to Enlarge Your Heart For the New Year

December 31, 2019 /
@andrearhowey

Like many of you, I’m a little off schedule about now. I hate routines, but they also save me and I’m ready to get back into a healthy rhythm. Anyone else with me?

Christmas was “different” this year. It was our first time away from home, family and friends for a holiday that is full of sacred meaning, memories, and traditions for me.

Some of you, following me on Instagram have seen the lovely images of this place we are blessed to serve for a short time. Some of you may be in a hard season and may have felt a twinge of resentment or envy. I so do not want that! I want to bring you along and I want to be honest about all of it.

I’m the first to say we’re privileged to be able to dive into this adventure and enjoy a myriad of new experiences and relationships. We’re incredibly grateful!

I’m also kind of like the mom who struggles with infertility and after having a baby doesn’t feel like she can have a bad day or get frustrated with her little one because, she HAS a little one. I feel guilty if I get emotionally wrung out or have a frustrating day grocery shopping, because I’m get to live in Lucerne for Pete’s sake!

But I don’t want the beauty of Switzerland to obscure the intense personal pain we’ve encountered in the faith community here. Grieving parents, broken marriages, addiction, emotional breakdowns, loneliness… We’re serving in a small church where basically we’re responsible for all of the things, and we’re definitely not gifted at all of the things! (Read: counseling, administration, technology…)

I want to tell the truth and say we miss our church and the friends we have so much history with. Without complaint, I want to say honestly that as much as I love travel, I’m also a nester, a celebrator, a tradition-keeper. I’ve tried to be present to God and others here, but a part of my heart is at home.

Enough about me. How was your Christmas?

I know for some of you the holidays are incredibly hard and you’re glad they’re almost over. You’ve made it through the first Christmas with an empty chair, or taken the high road when the topic turned to politics around the table, or courageously apologized to a family member, or put up some needed boundaries. Know that you are seen and prayed for and I’m cheering you on.

What do you do to prepare for a new year? I’ve shared our New Years Eve practice in the past, and this year I’ve added some questions for you to reflect on.

Now onto the joyful stuff from Instagram and around the internet.

@ashton.creates
@letterfolk

I loved this story (and video below) about an adorably sneaky comfort dog!

And this brought such joy!

As we approach the new year, let’s breathe deep, lean hard, and press on, knowing that God’s love holds.

Soul Care for Grieving Spiritual Travelers at Advent

December 13, 2019 /

Next Thursday we are going to have a quiet, candlelit worship service here in Lucerne, specifically for people who are grieving this Christmas.

Is that you? You may have had a miscarriage, or lost a parent, spouse, or friend, and there is an empty place at the table and in your heart. You are sad and weary.

As John and I were preparing last night, we were trying to choose a couple of hymns that give voice to feelings of loss, wilderness, and promises of hope in the darkness.

I was transported back to my childhood when every year we had the tradition of gathering at my aunt and uncle’s house with relatives young and old.

After dinner at the looooong table stretched with many leaves and augmented with card tables attached, we’d move to the piano.

FullSizeRender-57

It was a loud and joyful time, but today, at least four people are missing from this picture including my brother. Maybe your pictures are missing loved ones this year too.

Now here’s the thing. I come from a musical family. We had cousins and uncles playing french horn, trumpet, trombone. My grandfather played the violin. Aunts and cousins played the piano. I think for a few years there was a flute thrown in. Maybe an oboe.

I had nothing to contribute but my barely adequate voice added to those who were able to actually, you know… harmonize. (That’s me in the middle back in holiday pigtails 🙂 )

I’m holding music for my cousin who is playing an instrument, but I didn’t need it for the lyrics. I know virtually every word of every carol in the book. (Yes, even Angels From the Realms of Glory). The Christmas lyrics are part of my faith vocabulary, because my family sang them over me, and into me, and with me.

This year there may be lyrics of celebration that are hard for you to sing. Impossible even. It’s ok. Be gentle with yourself.

A friend of mine says sometimes we sing faith words with joy and confidence.

Sometimes we sing them as a declaration of the truth we believe in spite of how we may feel.

And sometimes we just can’t sing “Joy to the World”. We’re too sad, and we let the community carry the words for us, blanketing us with hope that God is still with us. He is still good. That’s ok. Let the community carry hope for you.

Is it hard for you to sing this advent? Share in the comments.

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

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