Author: Laura Crosby (Page 49 of 54)

Two Practices to Help you Get off the Moving Walkway

February 23, 2015 /

Returning to Real Life after a vacation (even a short one) in a Warm Place is a little like jumping onto one of those moving walkways at the airport in the “keep walking” lane. You’re concentrating on getting Somewhere and thinking about Things, while juggling luggage and trying not to run over other moving walkers.  It’s easy to be absorbed with lists and tasks rather than present to God and others.

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This was my challenge last week. Real Life kept getting in the way of a Real Relationship with God – you know, where you actually are still, and listen, and talk to Him and say “What do You have to tell me about Yourself and myself, Jesus?”  I’d be humming along, getting things done – even good things like reading the Bible – and all of a sudden realize that being with Jesus was kind of like brushing my teeth – I was going through the motions without thinking about it.

Here’s what happens when being with Jesus is like brushing my teeth – I start feeling fat and ugly and discouraged and cranky, tired, and out of sorts – kind of like a toddler who needs a nap or a time out. Continue reading

Stronger in the Rhythm of Everyday Breathing

February 20, 2015 /

We got back Tuesday night late from a long weekend in Florida celebrating my nephew’s wedding. Even though it was cold for Florida, there were bright colors like fuchsia and emerald that we forget during the never-ending Minneapolis winters of snow white and soot gray.  We didn’t have to wear 10 layers of clothes and spend 20 minutes just “getting ready” to go outside.  Mostly there was sun and the smell of fresh cut grass. We could breathe.  And we did.

We breathed in the love of family and friends and laughter and deep sleep and play – such delightful play.  It made me think again, of how much we hold our breath in the everyday grind of life and how we need to figure out a rhythm that allows us to breathe without waiting for vacation.

My One Word for 2015 is Stronger.  The rhythm of breathing is just one more area where I need to grow stronger, and I was reminded of these words I wrote awhile ago:

It’s summertime, which for me conjures up memories of being at the Lake House with my cousins, perpetually in a wet swim suit, rarely out of the lake.  One of the many games we would play was “who-can-hold-their-breath-longest-without-dying”.

Ok, it wasn’t a real active game, but you know…simple pleasures.  And nobody actually died so our parents considered it a win.

Sometimes without even thinking about it, we play life like this  “who-can-hold-their-breath-longest-without-dying” game.

I don’t write much about Sabbath.  And I’ve never written about Selah.  But as I’ve started running, I’ve become much more aware of the importance of rhythm and rest, and basics. Like breathing.  And not holding our breath til we pass out.

Selah is a term used mostly in the Psalms and a few times in Habbakuk that is a bit of a mystery.  Scholars aren’t positive what it means, but they think it means “rest” or “pause”.

Mark Batterson says, like in music, if Sabbath is a full rest, maybe Selah is a sixteenth rest.  A chance to catch your breath.

Or maybe Selah is the life jacket that helps us pop up above the water of everyday stress. Continue reading

Faith

February 16, 2015 /

Faith is a funny thing.  It shows up in hospital rooms and in the desperate “Help!” silently prayed in the midst of a tense conversation.  It seems to hover in the beauty of forests and night skies, punctuated with hallelujah’s.   It peeks around the corner where single moms struggle to survive and shows up brave where “I forgive you’s” are offered.  It’s whispered on the lips of soldiers dying in foreign countries, far from their moms.

But this week, as we attend both a family wedding and the funeral of a dear friend, it strikes me that faith surprises us most when we stop to look at life and see it in a multitude of “thank you’s”. Continue reading

What are You Trying to Cover Up?

February 11, 2015 /

“The good news is that we’re all doomed, and you can give up any sense of control. Resistance is futile. Many things are going to get worse and weaker, like democracy and your upper arms.” Anne Lamott

Unfortunately I’m not quite ready to throw in the towel.

This weekend we’re going to be celebrating a family wedding in Florida, so that means trying to fix all the body parts that I can usually cover or camouflage in winter, but which will be uncovered and un-camouflaged in photos for all eternity after February 14th.

In my efforts to fix All Of The Things before Saturday, I focus first on my freckly legs and arms.  I blame the 70’s and Farrah Fawcett for this debacle that no amount of magic cream can repair.  We were all about the baby oil and rays and tan.

Gen Y you are wiser and prettier than that. You’ll grow old maintaining your alabaster skin because your moms slathered you with sunscreen. Thank them. Today.

Anyway, a friend of mine told me about Jergens Natural Glow – a moisturizer with sunscreen that “gradually creates flawless natural-looking color…” Tan in a tube! It worked for her so I gave it a go, but on me it looks totally orange, so now I just appear like I’ve been on a bizarre diet of carrots for the past 6 months.

Next, I finally gave in and bought a sleeveless dress after resisting for years.  Unfortunately the fashion industry has apparently decided that sleeves are too extravagant so they aren’t making them any more.  Consequently I’m hoping that 3 weeks of lifting tiny weights in front of the TV will result in finely toned arms for this weekend.  A woman can dream.

So what’s your thing?  What is it that you’re self-conscious about? The thing that keeps you from getting out on the dance floor, or from wearing a swim suit, or compels you to wear a hat? Continue reading

What are You Afraid Of?

February 9, 2015 /

This weekend I did something I didn’t want to do. I opened myself to something when I really wanted to remain safe, and closed. I did it because I thought it would be good for me, like eating Kale or going to Yoga class.  Healthy, but uncomfortable and not very palatable.

I put myself in an environment with a speaker whose theology I don’t always agree with. It was a situation where there would be questions and theories and ambiguity and nuance and I was afraid this person might speak for God in ways that wouldn’t make Him happy. More accurately, he might speak for God in ways that I wouldn’t.

My inclination is to run from controversy and fog like I’d run from an angry bear in the forest. But I want to be brave.

I’ve always preferred black and white to gray, the safe middle to the unknown edges when it comes to theology, and yet, I came out of seminary with more questions than I went in with, but also a bigger, safer, though more mysterious God.

Maybe I went in thinking I could study God like a scientist studies monkeys and learns to predict their movements.  But it was more like diving into the ocean with alternately crashing 10 foot high swells and then motionless becalmed water. The pull of the tide, and the dark, fathomless depths with sea caves and weird creatures.

So why, if I’ve felt secure enough to thrash in the sea with God, does my stomach clench when I’m in situations where someone might say something “wrong”, angry, or… gasp, even heretical? Continue reading

How to Get Your “-er”

February 6, 2015 /

Choosing “STRONGER” as my One Word for 2015 definitely has it’s downsides.  It means I’m being forced to look at the WEAKER areas in my life and, you know…actually DO something about them.

My Weight Watcher leader used to say, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”

So “-ER” means SOMETHING has got to change.

One of the glaring weaknesses in my character is around money.  I just don’t like to pay attention to it.

At all.

Start using words like “budget” or “overdraft” or “money market” and my eyes glaze over like a stoner from the 70’s.

It’s not like I’m a crazy spender. I’m not really a “shopper”.  But I just always assume there’s gonna be money there for me to give or spend – like the Tooth Fairy just takes care of my bank account.  This has led to a tad bit of, let’s just say, less than responsible money management (since there’s no “management” involved).

It’s like with weight and diets.  The more you know, the more you feel responsible.  I don’t want to know anything about money because I really don’t want to be responsible.

Ignorance is bliss baby!  To get your “-er” you need to do something different. Continue reading

The Trip Home

February 4, 2015 /

Some trips are just, well…delightful.  There was the time we got bumped up to First Class on a flight to London.  We felt like royalty, and tried not to look too giddy as we sipped our champagne, pretending this was oh so everyday for us. But this type of trip is rare.

But mostly in life we seem to get the other kind of journey.  Like the time we were on a bus driving from Israel across the desert to Cairo, Egypt and the air conditioning broke, and one of the women on the bus was so sick we had to keep stopping for her to get off and throw up in the scorching sand on the side of the road. We hold our breath and try to be patient and wonder if it will ever end. We try to think good thoughts.

The other day our good friend Steve died. And the last few months of Steve’s life were a rough journey.  A teeny tiny bit like our trip to Cairo.

Less than a year ago I was with Steve and his wife Sharol at a global prayer gathering, enjoying sweet times with them, our heads bowed together, coming before the Lord on behalf of those people suffering injustice around the world.

A couple weeks later, Steve was diagnosed with his own personal injustice – pancreatic cancer.

Over the next nine months, the community around Steve, and we, from a distance, had the privilege of walking him Home and learning from him on the way. Continue reading

Three Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Waiting

February 2, 2015 /

“Waiting is our destiny as creatures who cannot by themselves bring about what they hope for. We wait in the darkness for a flame we cannot light; we wait in fear for a happy ending we cannot write. We wait for a not yet that feels like a not ever. Waiting is the hardest work of hope.” Lewis Smedes

The other day a young mom asked if we could meet for coffee.  I had no idea what she wanted to talk about so when she said, “I want to ask what you’ve learned about waiting.” I’m sure my expression must have conveyed the incredulity I felt.  I wanted to say, “What??! Waiting  is one of my WORST things!

Couldn’t you ask about Gilmore Girls trivia or how to hone spy skills so you’re ready in case the CIA calls?  Those are my good things!

But no, it was waiting she was struggling with.  At least I could empathize because I’ve done a lot of it.

I remember the time I got trapped in my OBGYN’s exam room, sitting in my lovely paper gown on a table for an hour “And NO PHONE!” to call and remind someone I was there. Tiptoeing paper-garbed to the front desk did not seem to be a reasonable choice, and I thought as soon as I got dressed the Dr. would show up.

Even if not stuck in a Dr.’s office, most of us are waiting for something.  Waiting for a job or a baby or a husband or healing or whatever.

Turns out a lot of us can relate to not being good “wait-ers”.  The Today Show talked about a recent study that said: Continue reading

You are Stronger than You Think

January 30, 2015 /

The other day, two things happened.  I saw this video and I realized I’m stronger than I think.

No, I’m never going to be a pull-up dancer. I know this might surprise you.  I’m not strong in that way.

But as I was driving along a person came to mind who brought me great pain in the past, and I felt…indifference!  Then I thought of an experience that had had great destructive power in my life, and I felt…fine!  Actually, I felt great!  I could think about the experience and appreciate what I learned without reliving the pain. I was strong in a new way!  Stronger than I thought.  I bet you are too.

STRONGER is my One Word this year, so it was weird when it struck me that there are areas where I’ve already grown stronger over the years.

Stronger can sneak up on you when you’re not looking.  We can say “Aha, Stronger!  I recognize you!”

Yes, it requires discipline and truth-telling and exercising flabby muscles over time. It’s a daily 3 mile run rather than a dash into the grocery store.  We do our work and God does His work and somehow we get better. Stronger.

We let weak win when we give power to people or experiences in our lives that don’t deserve it.

We get stronger when we say “Nope!” over and over again. “The only One who deserves power in my life to define me or carry me or approve me or interpret life for me is Jesus.”

We’re I’m so paranoid about seeming braggy that I sometimes neglect to celebrate the small victories of change. But the other day I felt it was time to celebrate and thank God for stronger.

So, what’s one area of your life where you can celebrate growth?  What is one way you’ve grown stronger?

 

When You’re Heavy with Too Much to Pray About

January 28, 2015 /

“I look at God, I look at you, and I keep looking at God.” —Julian of Norwich

I’m in the ministry so I naturally get a lot of prayer requests.  People figure it’s in my job description.

But lately it seems like there are so many more prayers than ever. So much pain, so much heaviness.

There’s all the cancer (which, let’s face it, could fill a prayer book alone), and infertility and loneliness, and job-searching, and broken relationships, not to mention that world-going-to-hell-in-a-hand-basket stuff.

I go to sleep praying and when I wake in the middle of the night I figure it’s God poking me and it’s time to pray again.  I get a note or a phone call or I see someone and I try to pray in the moment. But sometimes it just feels soooo heavy.  Like too much.

But here’s what I think we get wrong. Continue reading

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