5 Things to Consider When Telling Someone About Their Blind Spots

Monday I posted about blind spots, feedback, and the cones in our tree we may be missing.

It’s really hard to be a good receiver of feedback, but I think we also need to be good givers of feedback.

• When we give feedback we’re essentially saying that someone else is worth investing in.  They have potential. I care enough about you to tell you about this cone in your tree.
• When we give feedback we envision a better future for the person.  We give them the tools to grow. Here’s how you might get rid of that cone.
• When we give feedback we give people perspective. We help them zoom out to see this was just one game, or one talk, or one project that’s part of the bigger picture of who they are becoming. That cone doesn’t have to hold you back forever.

How do we do that well, though? I’m no expert, but I was thinking of this in the context of some young women I mentor. It’s more an art than a science, but it seems there are several things to be aware of.

1. Unless you’re a boss and it’s part of your job, or clearly part of your role, wait to be asked.
2. Pray, pray, pray. Examine your own heart for signs of pride.
3. Start by reaffirming the value of the relationship and respect for the person.
4. Circle back to check in after the person has had time to process. Make sure they heard both your feedback and your commitment to be “for” them.
5. Stay engaged and cheer any progress you see.

When you think of giving feedback, what’s one word that comes to mind?